How reliable are your teenagers?

[Rocsand03]

Would you leave a 14 yr old to let themselves out and lock up if you go to work? I’m starting a zero hours contract any day now and my ds worries me. It takes me an hour to get him up. He insists I don’t shout on him, I don’t shake him, I don’t give him time, he doesn’t hear me, he’s tired.... uh hello? It’s worrying me that I might not be able to trust him to lock up should I have to go in at a certain time. His friend across the road, same age gets herself and her little brother out every morning.
Also, would you be willing to let yours be home alone if they’re sick, in-service days etc or holidays they’re off and you just can’t get off? My work will be NHS and so I need to show I’m keen so I would think taking as many suitable shifts as I can would help go towards me getting a permanent job.

Start practicing now before it impacts your future job!
Go out before him, but come back and check just after he should have left??
Repeat as necessary until it sinks in 😊

Both my DC (15 and 13) will lock up if they are last out of the house.

Why are you spending an hour getting your DS up? Let him sort himself out. If you must, say you will go and bang on his door at x time (10 minutes before the last possible time he must go out).

I think with DC this age, there is an element of "they rise to the challenge", so while you treat him like a younger child, he'll act like one.

Yes absolutely, he is going to have to start having some responsibility for himself at some point.

As it’s driving me mad, it’s actually one of the few things that does... yep I know, he’s at it! I’ve been trying for so long and at the beginning of term there was a couple of times he missed the bus so I ended up running him to school three miles away. I said since then absolutely no chance I’m doing that again. Especially now I won’t have time for that with my work. I wake him early because I know how long he takes but no matter if he goes to bed early (which I doesn’t), late, I could should on him from 6am ... he still jumps up 20 minutes before the bus arrives. My heart is in my mouth every time but he knows I’ll try my best to leave it to him but I’ll see it’s 8 and lose the plot as I don’t want him late! 🙈... oh and he has several alarms by the way. He basically lyes and lyes til the last minute ..

Short of fitting an ejector switch to his bed, any words of wisdom that might work? x

I would leave my 14yo, I’d have throttled yours by now! MAKE him responsible for himself. See if the school will come down hard on him if he’s late in the mornings & find some consequences (no Wifi etc)

Going to bed early one night won’t make a difference, it needs to be every night! Send him to bed at 9 and make him leave his gadgets downstairs. Tell him he can go later once he can get himself up and out of the house in the mornings 🤷🏻‍♀️

You need to just tell him that you are starting a new job and that he now needs to be more adult and get up and out without assistance from you. And then YOU need to stick to that. Let him be late if need be and let the school discipline him. He will stop being late once that has happened. I have DD (14) and used to be like you. But then I injured my foot and could no longer get her up. So I (nicely) explained to her that she needed to sort herself out. After a bit of trial and error, her alarm now goes off at 6 a.m. and her feet hit the floor immediately (I know, her bedroom is directly above mine ).

I won’t lie it’s my own fault and I’ve let him away with murder. He’s been with us since he was seven and so has been more protected than most. However he does know his responsibilities and I want him to as independent as everybody else his age and older. He just got his iPad back after a week for something else. I do do the disciplining but probably didn’t start off that way as much as I should have.

My 14year old gets himself up every morning, makes his own breakfast and puts a jug of coffee on before leaving for school. It's time to start practising with your DS now to get him in the habit. They are more than capable at this age!

Yes would leave at home on own.
You need to give them chances to fail so they can learn to succeed.

I have a 14 year old DD who gets herself up and takes her 5 year old sister to breakfast club at school for 8am as I start work at 6.30am.
She's been on phone twice since September saying 5 year old is refusing to get dressed etc but apart from those 2 times she's been managing it

Well I’ve told him tonight it’s up to him now. He sets his alarms and listens to them. I told him to set an alarm for earlier but I know he won’t. So that’s it, he gets himself up and whatever happens is up to him to consider. ... wish me luck 🙈

How did it go Rocsand03?

...and, how was day 2?

Fat fingers, sorry! Day 1

Nope! Didn’t even set his alarms. Every day they go off for ages even though I’m shouting on him. I left him and left him this morning til I realised what was happening. Yeah I know i shouldn’t have given in. I need to be able to get passed that c