15yo son has had girl friend for 8 months approx. They friends but on / off bf gf at times. At her decision always it seems. They usually see each other on the weekend. Sometimes once midweek. But recently not seen each other 2 weeks.
Recently he had prelim exams and she messing with his head despite their breaking up in December to concentrate on school and exams.
She seems to string him along.
she ignores his texts for hours and days then texts back when it suits her. I have advised him to cool with her but I can't forbid contact in case he is more determined to see her. However his friends advise him she is messing with him and playing with his feelings and get rid of her. Good advice boys.
She says she will maybe be ready to be bf gf again soon. My son asked her if she doesn't feel the same and is playing him. She changed subject.
She is happy to message him from midnight onwards and him call her and chat on fne TIL all hours.
This was only discovered recently and we now have a phone curfew. He doesn't have phone at bedtime.
As he has been exhausted right at exam time !!!
most distressingly I have just recently seen messages from her to him where she talks about her cutting herself.
And intending to kill herself stating it will be in 2 months time ????
Gf parents are dealing with her issues I believe. But I am horrified.
I am trying to get him to be open about it and tell me if he is worried for her etc.
Whether to get attention from her or st her suggestion I don't know. It has transpired he has on 2 or 3 occasions recently tried cutting himself. Sent her a picture. Of minor scratches on his leg and hand.
He says he wouldn't ever do it again. Didn't give him any feeling or satisfaction release or whatever.
He says she didn't encourage him. He says he isn't unhappy or suicidal or depressed or anything but obvs I am now beyond distraught and terrified that he is or would do anything or she would encourage him
Or influence him by association. Constantly talking bout it.
I think she may have a personality disorder or depressed etc.
She has been a lesbian before so I don't know if could be connected to confusion re sexuality etc.
Lot of things going on here. So worried.
I am worried to be too firm with him re contact with her in case he or she done something silly and at same time I think he is realising she isn't wanting to be with him but maybe doesn't want him to move on etc.
It may fizzle out organically as he sees she ignores him etc.
I intend to speak with gf parents this week Are her harming , suicide talk and she ought to to have a phone curfew Also. And less correspondence with my son.
Gf Father works away a lot. Gf mother diagnosed bipolar.
I want gf to be ok but predominantly I want my son to be ok. She is projecting Her misery onto him. I have spent my life caring for him and keeping him alive and can't bear the thought she is tormenting him abusing him and if he were to do anything silly. My world would end.
My son father is not involved in his life. Occasional calls or texts only. He does pay Csa for him. My son is usually sensible quite mature. Dedicated to martial arts clubs etc. He is big strong boy. Keen musical interest. Gaming with friends but
I feel he is reluctant recently to see friends. Go places and is gaming less also. I think pining for girl.
Apologies for long depressing awful post. Thank you for reading and any suggestions would be great xxxxxx