Smoking parents of smoking teens

[DoreenSamuel]

Just wondered if parents of teens who smoke are a bit more relaxed about it because they smoke themselves?

I don’t smoke but caught my DS (14) smoking and was very upset and did all I could do to stop it (I-think he has now stopped but am not entirely sure).

I know of other parents who smoke are not entirely happy about finding out their teens are smoking but seem a bit more accepting e.g actually buying lighters / cigarettes for them.

Is it because smoking parents are presumably more likely to be called a hypocrite or maybe they don’t see it as such a big deal because they smoke themselves? Just interested really

My parents were both long term smokers when I was a teen, the type that smoked, wanted to stop and just couldn't. My brother and I both started smoking in our late teens (in 1980s) and hid it from our parents (and each other!).

They would have hated that we had started, they would not have been hypocrites if they found out and accepted it was our lungs our choice, but would have been very disappointed for us and also felt guilty that we had started too. As a young teen it would be a case of 'you are a child you do as I say not as I do' and go to your room for the next 5 years 🤣 style parenting.

Not wanting to disappointment them I hid it successfully until my late 20s, then got caught in the loos at a family function.😳 Even then I couldn't ever bring myself to do it in front of them.

I would be a hypocrite to tell my teen he couldn't smoke when I did it myself as a teen knowing full well the dangers, but if he does start I'll be that hypocrite and will go nuclear with him 🤬. He watched his granddad suffer the cruelty of COPD until he died so it is hopefully unlikely to happen.

I’m a smoker , my DD doesn’t smoke and I’ll come down on her like a tonne of bricks if she did. Call me a hypocrite but because I’m a smoker I know better what I’m talking about than a non smoker.

No one wants their kids to smoke. But going by statistics, if parents smoke then the children are most likely going to smoke. It normalises smoking to them when brought up with it, and it’s easier to get hold of when you’ve got packets of cigarettes and baccy round the house to take from

@Pompei36 that’s the exact same reasoning a lot of parents have, and the worst way to actually go about it

@Pompei36 surely it would be better to work together on quitting than throwing your weight around while continuing to do the thing you don't want her to do?

I eat the crusts on my sandwiches even though i don't like them, because otherwise my children wouldn't do it when i ask them to.

Herpesfreesince03- why is the worst? will you take driving advice from a non-driver?

None of my parents smoked but all 3 children do.
We have 3 children and one smokes, others won't.
When he started I did everything to try to get him to stop. Tbh, if seeing me and dh smoking wasn't enough to put him off, nothing would be.
He's cut down a lot now as an adult as can't afford it, I'm glad.
We have never smoked in the house and he wasn't allowed to, I have bought them occasionally if he has run out, (his money) but I can count the times on one hand.

ReallyLilyReally- my dd is not a smoker and I don’t need to work on anything as i’m perfectly fine.
I’m a very tidy person , always been, my DD is very messy even though she’s been with me all her life so your theory is not always working.
You’re not scared of having a glass of wine with your dinner? , in case it might encourage your kids to drink alcohol 😂

@pompei36 i think you're being deliberately obtuse here - in the hypothetical world where your DD does smoke, she'd be pretty dim to not tell you to get stuffed if you "came down like a tonne of bricks" on her for it.

And your analogy is ridiculous - i set a good example for my kids. They see me drinking a glass of wine at dinner at the weekend, and they know it's acceptable for an adult to have a glass of wine on a weekend. If i were drinking gin for breakfast while telling them not to drink, you'd have a leg to stand on. As it is, it comes across like you're just trying to make yourself feel better about your dodgy life choices, so if that's not the case maybe re-evaluate your word choice.

Pomp
You may well come down n them like a ton of bricks but don't be surprised if they ignore every word of it.

Maybe children go the other way, my brother and I certainly did. Both parents chain smoked, always money for fags but not enough for food, heating, a house without mould etc. Made me very resentful against smoking in general.