Should I make Ds study?

[Keepmeawayfromthecrisps]

Ds 14 driving me up the wall when it comes to schoolwork! Will only do homework or revise if I’ve nagged him into it. He has 2 important tests next week and not interested in studying at all. Would you make your dc study or just leave them to it?
I’m tempted just to leave him to it and hope that the first time he fails or gets in trouble for not doing homework it might make him get his finger out

Does he know how to 'study'? I didn't. I would flick through text books not really knowing what information to take in. With homework I didn't know how to seek out information (no internet back then). Basically I had no clue what I was doing. I wasn't taught these skills. My school was of the 'it's your gcses your choice if you don't work' type and my parents were of the generation that left you to it (and they were both secondary modern left at 15 generation). I have half a dozen crappy grade gcses.

@bookmum08 I’ve just asked him this and he doesn’t know how to ‘study’, he just reads through his books and doesn’t really take it in! So I’m going to help him this week and show him strategies he can use for revision that pp have suggested. I’ve still made it clear though that I’m taking a step back with nagging about homework and that’s up to him.

DS is finding this book quite useful

Short answer: it's not your responsbility. Your life will improve if you don't nag about it.

It's not easy, I know. I have loved having a DC at boarding school, as there is no pressure at all about revision. He did no revision at all in the school holidays before his GCSEs, on the grounds that he had done it all at school. To judge by his results, I was right to take his word for it.

It has been far harder with the DC at day schools. I have to resist the urge to nag. But if they are reasonably bright and concentrate reasonably hard in lessons, they will be ok. And if they are not, it's a useful life lesson (which DC5 is about to learn, by the looks of it ).

My parents didn’t even check whether I did my homework but made it clear they’d be so disappointed if I did poorly through lack of trying. So I took responsibility for myself. I got a scholarship to the best school in my area off my own back (minus registration fee and the lift to the school to sit the exam). I got all As for final results. It’s more important for children to learn independence than year 8 history.