Moving forward from DD's overdose

[Littlefiendsusan]

Dd,16, took an overdose last Friday of her antihistamines which were prescribed for her insomnia.

She stashed them in her school bag last Monday with the intention of taking them that week, which she did on Friday. 17 of them, which saw us overnight in A&E on fluids, observation and a CAMHS meeting in the morning.
She is due to have her CAMHS assessment next week, but I'm going to see if this can be brought forward.

My question really is, where and how do we move on now? Does she need 24 babysitting for a while, do I home school her? I'm at a loss at what to do for the best.

We are due to meet with the school today to discuss her future but I don't have a clear plan in my head as to what we should do.

Any advice?

I'm so sorry. I don't have any answers but didn't want to read and run.
The school will probably have some suggestions and CAMHS should help although I hear you need to fight for it most of the time. Maybe counselling might help? Just remember it's not a reflection on you, life is hard for teens these days. just be open and be there for her. It's going to be hard but you'll get there.

Very sorry you are going through this, OP

I don't know if this is helpful, but dd made repeated suicide attempts in her mid-teens. What the Crisis team said to me was that I would never be able to keep her safe by watching her 24/7, that the only way to keep her safe would be to leave her the responsibility to keep herself safe. (I could see that they had a point; we live 5 minutes from a well-known suicide spot; it would only have taken me popping to the loo for her to sneak out of the house.) But I think that would depend on how acute the suicide risk is at any given point.

On the advice of Crisis, I did not give up work; dd did attend school when she was well enough, and later Sixth Form college which went a lot better. She is now an adult and living on her own in London. Her MH is variable and she will ring me when she is feeling fragile, but I have stopped worrying about it all the time. She is on medication, she knows that she has an illness that may be incurable, but she also knows things can be done.

I think the most important thing is to keep lines of communication open. Let your dd know that she can talk about anything, that she doesn't have to spare you.

And don't forget that it is important to have fun too. It is allowed to laugh as a family, or just to have some ordinary time together, even if life is difficult.

Hope things feel more bearable soon, for both of you, and that CAHMS are able to help (they did help dd, a lot)

My mum was in this position a few years ago when I used to take overdoses at 16 and 17 years old and I feel really bad now because she must have felt as confused and worried as you do now but I didn't realise it.

From my experience, watching her all the time is unlikely to help. She might feel like you don't trust her at all or feel suffocated, it's probably important in the long term to give her independence back in small chunks - let her go out alone and if it goes well it will build confidence for the both of you? Long term 24 hour watching her doesn't sound realistic and i know it wouldn't have helped me. She's 16 so it's important she takes some responsibility for her own safety and learns to tell people what's going on. I used to have a traffic light system, we had green yellow and red circles of paper blutacked on the kitchen cupboard and if I was okay I would put up green, if I was struggling I would put up yellow and if I was feeling unsafe and needed immediate support I would put up red, I don't know if you could try something like that? That might make it easier for her to communicate how she's feeling to you?

I'm wondering what happened at the school? I used to still attend mainstream school but with extra support from pastoral staff and they had to do a risk assessment and if something happened they would have a review of it to make sure they were keeping on top of what the risks were. Homeschooling her sounds like overkill unless there's something else going on? She'll lose her independence entirely and that will ease your concern but I'm not sure how likely it would be to help her?

Were the antihistamines prescribed by the GP? CAMHS could get a psychiatrist to review it maybe? It's really common for CAMHS to provide CBT therapy but there's another therapy called DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) which personally helped me more but not all CAMHS teams offer it. Family therapy is also a common pathway and can be helpful! I'm wondering how willing she is to talk to you/professionals about things? You could consider with her whether she wants you to be there the whole assessment (they usually do ask and make a plan about seeing her on her own, with you, maybe you on your own too? But it might be good to discuss it before you go as well), it can vary and because she's 16 they don't necessarily have to tell you everything which is tough but they won't keep anything from you that's about risk!! If she finds it tough to speak about her feelings she could write some things down to give to the professional?

Youngminds (the charity) have a parent helpline that I would recommend and there are some apps that can help with urges to self-harm - there's one called Calm Harm and one called Self-Heal.

You will both get through this!!!

I've been through this OP. CAMHS were useless here, but I hope yours are better. Don't make any decisions about education yet - taking her out of school may make her feel isolated or it may be exactly what she needs - you will all need time to reflect on the decision.