I am 18, no one can tell me what to do!

[BlueSkyBurningBright]

My DSS, who was adopted by my DH and his first wife, is being very challenging and we think he needs help.

We have had a difficult few years with him, drug taking and drinking. The minute he turned 18, he said he was not going to college any more, he will take as many drugs as he wants, stay our when he wants and not answer to us or abide by the house rules. He does not want to get a job, or if he does an easy one. Though as he has stopped washing and changing his clothes, he is not going to get a job.

He disappears for days at a time, not responding to calls or texts. Will then turn up at home, go to his room, sleep, eat and sometimes wash and change his clothes. Then he is off again for another few days. He will not talk to anyone in the house apart from his DF, who is often out at work when DSS comes home, so it is rarely they see and talk to each other, though mostly it is shouting.

I did think that as he had been a looked after child, social services would be able to help, but all they say to me is that he is 18 and an adult.

His adoptive DM is no longer around and can not help.

Does anyone have any ideas of where we can get him help?

If adoption agencies aren't helping, I'd try the usual MH/addiction groups.
It's possible there will be adoption charities that can help- this isn't uncommon for adopted people.

Targeted youth support? They should be able to help, particularly because he was looked after.

You can't get him help if he won't cooperate. What you can do is change the locks and stop letting him take the piss out of you. He's 18 and can do whatever he wants? Have at it, kid. Good luck to him because he's going to need it. If he is unwilling to treat the family and your home with respect, I'd be telling him he's on his own.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply.

He absolutely refuses help, so I guess we are stuck. He has not been home for the last few days. I think we will have to tell him to move out. He does have a romantic view of homelessness, so I am worried he is sleeping rough already.