My teenaged hates me I'm at braking point

[jessiesmam]

My son who is 14 eldest of my 4 children is a nightmare I hate to say this but I am struggling to cope with him he is mean and nasty and openly tells me that he hates me and that I hate him... Every time I talk to him it turns in to an argument he doesn't do anything I ask him to and I'm sure he likes to just make me cry. His mood changes very quickly from nice to pure nasty. He's currently packed all his things wanting to leave

Where’s he going?

It's shit. My 14 year old sounds similar. I'm told it's a teenage thing and not to take it personally...which is hard!!

Get yourself over to the Parent of Teens board. Loads of support and sympathy!

He wants me to ring social services so he can go with them....teenages are mean!

I sympathise with you, teenagers can be so difficult. You need to seek professional help, he should not be treating u like that. Is his dad around or a male relative who could talk to him? You do not want his younger siblings thinking his behaviour is acceptable. X

Just keep calmly telling him you love him and this is his home. Remind yourself every ten seconds that he’s a child going through the brain confusion of adolescence and he’s trying to push you to your limit. Don’t let him by remaining calm and repeating kind words.

Tell him you totally trust him to do what’s best for himself in the long run because he’s smart and funny and clever. I found that worked better than me telling them what they should do!

Hope it calms down soon. Is he back at school tomorrow?

I was that 14yo. I improved by 17..

Try searching for the thread 'is parenting a teen adversely affecting your mh'. It goes on to a thread two.

But some teens are like that, try not to get drawn into arguments, try not to be too much at hand. It's hormones . As long as they are safe you have to disconnect. Normally it gets better after the teen years. Best of luck.

A link to the thread mentioned above

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/3711135-Thread-three-holding-on-to-the-end-of-the-rope-life-in-the-bunker-with-the-PoTs-where-parenting-a-teen-is-adversely-affecting-your-mental-health

He doesn’t hate you, he doesn’t mean any of the nasty things he says to you. He can’t yet articulate his feelings into appropriate words and conversations. He’s hormonal. Take everything with a pinch of salt, when you’re calm talk to him. When he becomes horrid just calmly say I’ll talk to you another time when you can more respectful and pleasant. Then turn around, leave and get on with your day.

Hang on in there, as pp have said, he doesn’t hate you at all.
I have recently been through the same but unfortunately she had the option of going to her dads. My friend gave me some good advise recently... you are their constant so they know they can hate you/treat you like dirt/walk all over you because they know whatever, you will always be there for them. Not as a doormat but an unconditional love that when they realise they’ve been a twat, you are/were still there for them. Doesn’t mean you have to like them in the process! Xxx