Would you allow a almost 13 year old to have snap chat ? Feeling mean like I might be making my ds feel excluded from friends?

[Lardlizard]

I’m not on it myself so I don’t really understand it
But she had friends Uber today and they were all talking about things they’d seen in there etc
And I could tell she felt left out

She has insta and what’s app

Yes I would (did) but on the understanding that I can check it anytime and often.
FWIW my dd begged for it, used it a lot and has now at 15 deleted it

I don't like Snapchat. Lots of problems with bullying on this particular app. I have 2 DS, neither have it although they both have Whatsapp and Insta. They have these on the condition I will check their phones as and when. I am the parent and I am paying! I don't like the fact on Snapchat you can send messages / photos which then disappear. In my line of work we have issues every day with online bullying and mostly on Snapchat. I would avoid.

It's on a list of 15 apps the police actively advise parents to avoid with children, especially children technically and legally too young to have it x

No, you can’t go back through the history and whilst the pictures and writing disappears, a simple screenshot records it and can easily be passed round.

Make sure you select ad free when you set up.

No, I don't let my 12 year old have it. It's nonsense.

My daughter is 10 and has it, to be fair every single one of her friends in her class at school does too. I know it's not without risk but I think the key is to educate them and be clear that you may check their phone at any point. I think making them the only one without something puts them at increased risk of bullying to be honest.

I'd recommend having a look at this website run by two former police officers who worked on identifying and convicting online child sex offenders - I attended a training they did through work and they showed us some quite frightening things - like how Snapchat's default settings let people view your EXACT location - but also give excellent and realistic tips on how to safely support children to understand risks online and give them more freedom

www.esafetytraining.org/parent-carers-area

How can you check his Snapchat messages when they aren't saved?

I’ve heard too many bad stories about Snapchat so never let my son use it. Also haven’t allowed him to use Facebook yet. I want him to concentrate on school: he’s already too much on the phone or iPad texting and talking to friends . That’s just one more he doesn’t need

If parents want to educate their kids about social media they need to have access to see what they are posting and the messages they are getting and sending. Snapchat does not allow this so it's a no from me. I am thankful that I have had access to messages on my DDs phone so I was able to see when she and step in when she was being picked in by some nasty madams at school.

No I have 12 1/2 year old and I don,t feal she would be mature enough

My 11 yr old has it but she only uses it to contact her older cousins. She always asks to use it and I can see she only has them as her friends.

If you do, take the location sharing feature off. You can disable that bit.
DD mainly uses Snapchat at 17, as do her friends. Def more than Insta or WhatsApp - but it depends what for (party invites usually on WhatsApp) .
Btw Kids don’t use FB anymore - mine have accounts but don’t really look at it regularly- it’s for oldies!

No. Wastes too much time, diverts their attention from the real world, is anti-social when they're checking it all the time in company, and seen awful bullying on it too. Definitely not.

Nope. Avoid at all costs

It’s worrying how naive some of the posters on here are about how safe they think their child is online.

Absolutely not.

It is ridiculously open to abuse.

Ok I’ll say no for now
Thanks for the advice

Snapchat is quite different to other social media apps as the default is that things aren't saved. It started life as a sexting app, for people to send images that wouldn't be saved/quickly disappear. Things have changed a lot since then, but it still has the default that things disappear after they are sent- sometimes quite quickly. Messages can be saved and people can take screenshots, but the default is that messages disappear. This means unlike other apps, even random checks won't let you know exactly what or necessarily who your child is messaging (unless you are very strict about who you let them add/follow).

It also means someone is more likely to send them something unpleasant, knowing it's harder for them to save.

I also think it can cause friendship issues even inadvertently as people can misread/misremember what someone wrote to them, and they can't go back and check it. It can lead to a lot of he said/she said type stuff.

I do think you have to weigh that against how left out she is feeling- but with Snapchat you have to be aware even if you are checking it regularly, you might not be seeing all the things she is talking about/exposed to on there like you would with whatsapp/insta.

No one under the age of 18 should be allowed on any of the social media sites.No one will feel left out then and it will stop much of the IIOC offences which are increasing exponentially now.No child under the age of 18 should have a phone which can do anything other than make and receive voice calls.
I know this sounds harsh,but before you rush to call me names,look at the friends and family forum on the "stopitnow" website.You will see the misery being caused to innocents,wives and children;and the trauma caused to the children can last a lifetime.
Every mobile phone (including "pay as you go" should be registered.