DD's first period and I'm away!

[WorriedDaughter1]

I'm away from home for a couple of days because of a family emergency and DD12 has just messaged to say that she's found some pink discharge in her pants. She's tiny and skinny, so I definitely wasn't expecting it to start so early.

She knows about periods, she has a pack of pads in her cupboard and I've talked her through using the first one. I feel so awful about being away though! I just left town today morning and I won't see her until Sunday. There's nobody at home that she can talk to either, DS17 is looking after the house and her.

I don't even know why I'm posting, it's just that I feel so sad about the timing. She's being very brave over the phone, but I wish I could hug her!

Mine was upset despite being fully aware what to expect, she felt she was too young (10, first of her friends and a competitive swimmer which was problematic). Not everyone is happy about it.

God, some people are harsh. It's totally normal to want to be there when your DD gets her first period! I remember the moment I got mine and it was 20 years ago. My mum had talked about them previously but it was so nice to have her there for the actual time it happened. She bought me a TY beanie baby to mark the occasion and make me feel better❤️

I understand, OP. She sounds like she is well prepared, and of course she will manage without you, but I would want to be there too.

My dd started her periods a couple of years ago, and while she took it in her stride, I don't think she felt happy about it. We did have a few tears but they were short-lived.

Chocolate through Amazon Prime and a hot water bottle from her brother should help to get her through. Nurofen meltets are quite handy for people who can't swallow tablets.

I know it's a milestone but I didn't make a thing of it, plus they both had discharge for months before a proper period kicked in. Not everyone gets pain either, it's not a given (ive never had pain).

ExpletiveFairylighted, how did your DD manage with her swimming? That's my DD's main concern too.

She's also the first to start among her friends and in her team, so there's no one to ask.

Muddled through, luckily she isn't one of the top squad (doesn't make counties) so missing a few training sessions every few weeks has been ok, had to pull out of an open meet early on though.

Ok, thanks. I'll look into tampons too, especially since she has a competition coming up in exactly a month's time. Mine were absolutely regular right from the start, so she might have to deal with periods and the competition next month.

When my dd started, I asked one of the other mothers how her dds managed. She told me that you won't bleed while in the water (something to do with pressure), which my dd found reassuring. Obviously that doesn't help on deck but she was glad to know she wouldn't have a Jaws moment in the pool. She also used tampons from tkd start. The Tampax Pearls were the easiest to insert for her.

They can use tampons right from the start, but it's easier to use them for the first time when the flow is reasonably heavy. Some girls get very light periods for the first few months, so best to use pads until she sees his it's going. My DD is sporty and figured them out after a few months.

My dd phoned me to say ‘blood was pouring out of her’ and in tears. As they had told them at school that it only really starts as stain on your pants.

I rushed home. And yes it was her period, and close inspection of previous pants (🤢) showed some staining. She just hadn’t noticed!

So it can be quite traumatic!

I did right from the start, same age. Hated thought of blood dripping.
You can buy teen tampons with application, Amazon do them

My grandmother didn't tell my Mum about periods at all and so when my Mum started she was terrified. Luckily her aunt sorted her out. As a consequence she well prepared me and DSis. I started in a (mixed sex) PE class so that was quite traumatic although I was 14 so very ready to start. DSis was much younger. Mum and I were away and she didn't want to tell Dad so she asked to speak to Mum alone on the phone which was a big deal in the 90s. She survived.

That's useful information about swimming, thanks. Also about first using tampons when the flow is heavy.

And thank you so much to everyone who replied. None of DD's friends (all very sporty girls) have been looking forward to their periods starting at all, so I'm happy she's taking it in her stride. I'm so proud of her.

Oh, forgot to say, I used tampons from my second period (regular tampax) with no problems.

It's nice that you want to be there but tbh I find this a bit weird. It's not a sad or scary thing. Why would she need a hug? Every girl I remember, myself included, was happy to get their period as it made them feel more grown up. It's really not some life changing moment for most people. It's just something they've known about for years and she sounds prepared for.

👍

I can totally see why you're wishing you were with her. Yes, it's inevitable and we all go through it but the first time does feel like a big deal. My dd sobbed when she started hers but was bouncing round and all excited within a few minutes! As long as you're on the end of the phone for her though I think she'll be fine and you can save that hug till Sunday!

As for tampons I used them from a fairly young age but my dd hasn't been able to get on with them yet. We had a very tense morning on holiday in spain when she was first trying to put one in but no luck and it's put her right off trying for the time being. We have since discovered Mobidi who do period swimwear which has been a lifesaver for our active girl. www.modibodi.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIw7OioODE5gIVRbTtCh2ILwZqEAAYASAAEgIHgvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

What a shame about the timing -typical isn’t it!

I hope you can sort things out for the family over the weekend - if it’s sortable 💐

Her period might be nothing much or it might be full on. Is she prepared fir that in case it gets ‘normal’ in the next day or so?

I couldn’t use tampons for a long time (TMI I still can’t if I ‘wipe dry’ first and Lube doesn’t help I’ve never tried the pear ones though, and the modern ‘teen’ ones are very small.

What you can get her though is the new ‘period pants’ most young girls seem to be starting out with those. Some just with the pants and some using pad/tampons as well. They apparently hold quite a lot though so she’ll probably be ok just with the rants. They’re not cheap, but they’re very good. If she can’t get the tampons sorted she could wear a pair of those under swimming things.

There are so many liquid forms of pain killers now - I had hideous period pains when I started and I couldn’t swallow tabkets so my Dad used to crush them between two spoons and mux them with a bit of milk for me 💕. It’s worth spending the extra money to but the Panadol brand paracetamol as they have a coating which makes them easier to swallow and the neurofen caplets which aren’t much bigger than tic tacs!!

Her brother sounds lovely, so I’m sure he’ll look after her anyway, even if she just says she needs some Panadol /neurofen for a ‘headache’. Obviously it would be better if she felt able to tell him, but I understand how she feels. You could tell her she’s helping any future girlfriends have a better prepared boyfriend!😂

My friend’s DD started a while ago and has NO qualms about discussing it with her Dad...I’m not sure he’s quite so happy about it, but he’s doing his best! My friend is a bit old fashioned and keeps telling her not to discuss it all with her Dad 🙄 I keep saying I think it’s great that she can.

Good timing for the T-shirt.

She will be fine 😊🌷

hopefully your daughter pays better attention in science class than the 'water pressure stops bleeding' brigade. Why this stupid myth continues with universal education is beyond me.

there is a force called gravity which means the blood won't come out much when she is horizontal, as swimmers generally are. Unless she can levitate out of the pool, it will come out when she climbs the ladder or if she stands up in the pool.

swimming with a period means a tampon or mooncup, guessing the former for a novice. Otherwise she will bleed in the pool which is a bit antisocial.

no drama, welcome to the next 30 odd years of a bodily function.

@mencken - hopefully your daughter pays better attention in science class than the 'water pressure stops bleeding' brigade.

The water pressure reduces the likelihood of blood exiting the vagina, so while not preventIng bleeding per se, I think most of us would recognise the term bleeding could be used to describe leakage. Gravity is also a factor obviously. www.seventeen.com/health/sex-health/a30094/period-myths/

You seem to have missed the part in my post where I said it doesn't help when they are on deck (which includes getting out of the pool). You also seem to have missed the bit about my dd using tampons from the start. I don't think anyone is advocating swimming without San pro (I certainly wouldn't) but telling your dd that gravity plus water pressure reduces the likelihood of leakage can reassure her that swimming with a period is not a problem.

I do a lot of sport and discovering mooncups in my 20s was a game changer. So much more comfortable and reliable than tampons, esp as my periods got heavier with age.

I think they could be tricky for a teen just getting used to periods, but they cope much better with spotting and variable flow (for several months when I started, I’d bleed for a day, stop, then start again). They’re brilliant for swimming.

Maybe at some stage she could try cups for sport? They last longer than tampons and leak/shift/ache less, at least when you get it all figured out. I recommend Organicup.

She rang you which shows she's happy to talk to you. Reassure her she can ring if she needs you.

She's 12,she won't need her brother to give her medicine ,what can't she take it herself?

You've prepared her,I'm sure shell be fine

Thanks for the tip about the period pants. I'll order some pairs and that should do well to start with. I don't think Modibodi is available here, but there seem to be other brands. I'll discuss other options with her later and see what she's comfortable with.

The pack of pads I'd given her has assorted sizes, so she should be okay with it until Sunday.

Oh, and DD needs DS to give her the liquid ibuprofen, because we still keep our medicines in the high cabinet where they've been since the DC were tiny She'd need the step ladder to get to it, while six-foot-tall DS can open it easily!