Daughter wants to drop out of college

7 replies

AnaMK · 09/12/2019 18:11

My 16 year old DD is in her 1st year of college doing 3 coursework subjects. I know she is not working to her full capacity and is falling behind her work. She complains that I just nag her and that I don’t realise how hard she works whilst at college. I know she has fallen behind in one of her subjects ‘Textiles’ which is a time consuming subject but I know that she is more concerned with being popular and spends all her waking time at home on her mobile. We can’t seem to take it away from her. I have spoken to college as she now wants to drop one subject but they will not allow any less than 3 subjects per student. They say she is chatty in class and her tutors feel she is not giving her studies her full focus. She now wants to drop out of college to do an internship. I am telling her that she can’t, she needs to complete her education fully I order to have access to better opportunities in the future, even if it means not going to Uni. I’m at the end of my tether with her as everything is a fight with her, I have always encouraged her to do the best she can. What other tactics can I employ, what are your views out there?

OP posts:

BlueGingerale · 09/12/2019 18:16

She’d be better off doing an internship than failing college.

I’d tell her she can leave college if she can secure an internship first.

TreeSwayer · 09/12/2019 18:18

What internship is she looking to do? How realistic is that? Can she find one that will take a 16 year old with just GCSE qualifications? Maybe start down that route with her. Find something, in the meantime she stays at college. Or maybe it will show her that this is a pipe dream and she needs to finish college.

My friend's son wanted to do an apprenticeship course after his A levels but found he was competing with 30 year olds who had a proven work history of turning up, committing to jobs etc. Far better to take that person on than an 18 year old who wasn't doing quite so well at his A levels and just had a bit of bar work as job experience.

Phone wise, if you pay for it, cut it off.

Mintjulia · 09/12/2019 18:23

I’d tell her she can leave college IF she has signed up to an internship, and that she needs to pay you £20 a week in rent.

It sounds like time for some financial realities.

cdtaylornats · 10/12/2019 07:57

She has to be in education or training until she is 18.

Mabelface · 10/12/2019 08:08

An apprenticeship could be a better option. One of my boys went down this route and now has a bloody good job. He's 20 and earning a few grand more than me a year!

Soontobe60 · 10/12/2019 08:16

She needs to secure something else before she leaves college. She may well struggle to get an internship as by not sticking at her current course, she may come across as unreliable. She may well also need a reference from college, which may not be as great as she thinks if she's not focusing in class.

At her age, she needs to be exposed to the harsh realities of life ie you have to put effort in in order to succeed. Make sure she realises that the bank of mum isn't going to throw money at her if she's just fannying around.

hettie · 10/12/2019 21:09

Where does she imagine she will be getting the money to pay for that phone in the future? Has she ever worked, budgeted, had to pay for luxuries? Have you talked about your responsibilities to her as she gets older? What are your and her expectations about the transition to adulthood? Sounds like you might have to set some expectations and then allow her to make some choices...

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