When is it more than difficult teenage behaviour?

[Perrysmum]

DS is 16 and currently a nightmare, academically clever but in the last year he ‘can’t be bothered’ going to school, missed loads, not doing homework, grades have dropped hugely. At home he’s just horrible to all of us most of the time, or so nice you wonder what’s coming next. I am treading on eggshells all the time waiting for the next explosion. He will just go off on one for the most ridiculous reasons, shout at us, repeat himself over and over again, punch walls, stand in our room until 3 or 4am making demands that are totally unreasonably. Nothing we say can stop him (other than giving him exactly what he wants which we won’t) he will go days without speaking a single word to us. He’s definitely not taking drugs but I’m really worried there is something wrong. He won’t go to the gp or speak to a mental health nurse (we’ve phoned for help during one of his tantrums as he threatened to kill himself) I am at my wits end and feel a total failure as a mum now
Please help

Don’t know what to suggest- but can tell you I have the exact same issue and it’s so sad to see them wasting their opportunities and not giving a damn?

I think you need to speak to GP or to CAMHs even if he won’t. Some of this behaviour sounds quite extreme and you need some help.

I just saw your other thread; I thought maybe he was involved with drugs but you think that’s not it. I think somehow you need to get the conversational channels open again. Is he calmer now? Sounds very difficult for you all, sorry you are going through this.

I've previously had a similar experience and found that drugs were involved. You might consider bending a little just to get him to a good place where you you can talk to him/he'll open up?
Good luck.

My 16 year old DS is exactly the same. At grammar school, so is academically bright, but recently couldn't be bothered to revise for mocks, so got mainly grade 3s which isn't good for his school. He has tantrums and I called the Police one night because he was threatening to put a knife k his neck if i didn't return the phone I'd confiscated from him. We know he's smoking weed. It's surprisingly very common with lots from his school doing it. He says he hates me and his dad. We're bad parents and threatens to move out. I feel constantly upset and it's having a negative impact on my marriage and my DD aged 11 is living in a war zone. People say the phase will pass but we're at our wits end. You're certainly not alone x