Lazy son

[Manchestertimes]

Hi I really need some advice what to do with my 14 year old son. He is so lazy both at home and school. I have to micro manage him as if I dont he just wont do anything. I have to tell him to do absolutely everything - eg.get your shoes/ get dressed on you will be late for school/activity. I go through all his school books every night and they are full of comments from teachers staying unfinished work.
I will make him do the work when he gets home but have to literally sit over him. I revise with him for every test and he performs well but if I didn't do it he wouldn't revise anything.
He doesn't really seem to care when he gets good marks or when he gets bad marks.
I know advise would be to leave him to it and let natural consequences take its course but as far as school is concerned he doesn't care if he gets into trouble.
As far as school goes they think as he does well in tests all is ok but it's not really as it's me putting the work in making him learn - nothing comes from him.
I did have him tested for ASD but they said he had traits but not enough for a diagnosis. I feel I would like to get him tested for ADHD as he is so distracted all the time and nothing gets done.
Maybe it's a boy thing or an age thing because my daughter is the total opposite.
Please give me some advice what to do as I feel like a terrible parent and I must be doing something wrong for him to he this way.

My son was a lot like this but it was as if someone flipped a switch when he started year 10. Completely different attitude towards school, tried hard and suddenly matured. More caring towards us too.

Don't ask me how I solved it because I didn't - we argued with him for three solid years about homework

You may just have to wait...

My son was a lot like this. Very motivated for something that interested him (particular sports) but very lazy when it came to school work. I certainly didn't do his work for him . Some days I would ask him to show me what he was doing and I'd tell him to go through his spelling : punctuation again or if i thought he should put in more effort, but I didn't do it every day.

Academically he didn't meet his potential. I don't know if that makes me a bad mum that I didn't supervise / manage him more, but I do think at secondary school and older that children need to take some responsibility and see the consequences.

Interestingly after dropping out of 6th form after the first year, DS got an apprenticeship and is now working full time - and now has an amazing work ethic. Up early in the morning, stays over in the evening and goes over and above his job role.

Your son may just need to mature a little.

Thank you so much for our replies. After we spoke to him last night he got up this morning and did everything for himself.
Gave him lots of praise and said how much it helps when he pulls his weight.

I really hope he matures in the same way your children did.