To wonder if teenagers

[supermommyof4]

I wonder if they have any sort of guilt as to what they are doing to their parents.
Sometimes I just wonder, why I do what I do knowing that they will forget everything I have done for them when it suits and make me feel absolutely rubbish. My mental health has taken a proper hit recently, I'm not really sure how much more I can deal with. Do you think they even care?

Thread three: holding on to the end of the rope, life in the bunker with the PoTs, where parenting a teen is adversely affecting your mental health

This thread might help you.

I don't think I truly appreciated my Mum until I became a parent myself.
But I always loved her.
Might not have always shown it though...
Hang in there. Parenting teens is playing a long game.

@Beamur I have a 21yo ds but he was never like this towards me.

Oh OP I feel your pain. My dd at 15 was so awful that, as I told her in a calm moment, I would leave her if she was a partner as it was emotional (and physical at times) abuse. I was thin, anxious and tearful all the time. We survived and as she came through it she had a horrible time with something and I was there for her. She looked into my face and apologised so sincerely for the past abuse. I am welling up thinking about it now. Hang in there, get support and believe it will get better.

supermommyof4 - the day I was sitting on my living room floor reassuring and hugging my 17 year old she would be ok whilst we were waiting for an ambulance to come for my heart attack was the day I realised that no, they don't really work on the same level brain wise.

At 14 my ds went off the rails for a year.
At 15 he was very remorseful and genuinely upset he had disgraced himself in my eyes as well as personal disgust with himself . He knuckled down, passed his exams when didn't expect to after missing a year of school.
Joined the army last month and is an amazing young adult..
Couldn't be prouder.
Be patient op.
You are doing good.
Ime dc know you are their safety net.

That's why they take risks with their behaviour..
Pushed to the limit is draining I know.

I should say this is an 18 year old doing this. She takes everything out on me or her siblings..she lashes out, shes moody, if something goes wrong in her life we all suffer. I feel like I give everything and she just takes. I mean education, focus wise shes great..but if something happens during the day that makes her stress or upset she comes in, in a mood and takes everything out on me mainly.

You mmws to withdraw your input into her life..
No washing.
No cooking.
No lifts.
No cash..
Tell her you have resigned.
When my current teens are rude I do this.
You don't have to accept such crap op.

I am outside a college to start the first of 6 sessions of a parenting teenagers course! Its so hard. Two teens here (15 and 19) and a younger child too. Give me night wakings and tantrums any day over rude teenagers. Good luck. Stick to your guns and stay as calm as you can.

When I was 16 I thought my parents knew nothing.
By the time I was 25 I was amazed how much they'd caught up.

My best friend often calls me to vent about her teenage daughter. I listen, commiserate, offer suggestions... and then immediately call my own mother to apologise for my teenage years.

They get it - eventually 😁.

Try and detach a bit, very difficult but try hard and act breezy. We do all this because we love the bones of them but certainly wouldn’t put up with that shit from a partner ... it is like being in an abusive relationship that you can’t leave. But most of them are ok in the end

Dont get me wrong I am immensely proud of her, her morals and principles are there she just seems to forget everything when its towards me.
She will stick up for anyone if she needs to and shes very hard working, I get her life is very busy and quite stressful but I wish she would find an outlet that doesnt involve abusing me. She went through an abusive relationship 2years ago and I am mindful that this still sometimes affects her mental health and her reactions to things.

Keep plugging on. I find that if I’m
Having a shit time with one of them there’s something going on with them I don’t know. And they do take it in, maybe not at the time.
I also didn’t ‘get’ a lot of what my parents went through until I was a parent myself.