Exhausted parents

[Mumma0406]

My hubby and I have 4 kids and the eldest has us so stressed out! He is not mine biologically but I have been there almost since the beginning. I love him I truly do but his behaviour is totally unacceptable. As an example of one bit of behaviour.. me and dad confiscated his phone for certain reasons and put it into the safe, he then somehow found the keys and took it back he then he refused to give it back and said it was his property. I tried to take it out of his hands and he said he will call the police if I touched him again. He listens to dad more than me and he has spent many calm hours talking to him about his behaviour and explaining how it's not right. He calls me a bitch, tells me I can't do anything to punish him as I'm not his parent.(that's cuts deep) but I try not to show emotion as he will then use it more as he has done with things in the past. He has broke so many things in temper including his own things including his other phone which he threw at a wall because I blocked the wifi to his phone. ( we have a rule if any of them gets a phone call home from school because of bad behaviour then no wifi for the evening) he will not show any remorse for his behaviour and tells me to shut the f**k up. He is mean to his siblings and will never apologise and always say that they deserved it. He steals from the kitchen to the point we had to put a lock on it. He is diabetic and has coeliac disease and getting him to do and eat the right stuff is impossible. We love him so much but at our wits end.
Sorry for long rant.

That sounds like hard work. I guess you are aware that high glucose can be a cause of "acting out"/bad behaviour so he may be in a bit of a vicious cycle? Is his clinic supportive? I'm assuming he's a teenager. It's a very difficult age for them and the celiac is rough to deal with as well.

Yes he is a teenager but this behaviour was going on before he was diagnosed with them. He has always been so uncompassionate toward his siblings and it is hard to watch and hear the things he says to them. Seriously considering some kind of boot camp.

Is his DM around at all? How is his relationship with her? Could he be taking his feelings about her out on you?

If he listens to Dad more, what is Dad saying when he scaling you a bitch, breaking things etc? What punishments is he having?

Ok, a child or teen with type one diabetes and celiac who is "stealing from the kitchen" needs a huge amount of support, not a lock on the kitchen door. I would address how he is being supported with his serious medical conditions rather than setting yourself up in opposition to him. What support are you giving him?

Worriedaboutmygirl. This isn't just the odd stealing its whole packets of biscuits and things that will really damage his insides and cause a lots of problems later in life. We have spoken to him, his nurses and doctors have spoken to him calmly and I even once told them to straight no sugar coating tell him what he was doing to himself, hoping that would wake him up but nothing.

Sleepingstandingup. Dad backs me up on everything, punishments and when he calls me names. He will listen to him in the sense that he will allow him to talk to him as I will just get the snide comment and then he walks away.

I think you are out of your depth with this and need professional psychological support. Your relationship sounds really controlling and antagonistic and you don't seem to be recognising what he is going through.

He has two complex, demanding and alienating diagnoses. His behaviour is unlikely to improve until he is more able to manage his blood glucose. You need to educate yourself about this urgently and seek the appropriate support for him and the rest of the family.

Ok, first of all. Me and dad are very knowledgeable on both of his conditions. He is seeing a psychologist and has been for a while now. He will not engage and often tells them what they want to hear or sits there and tells them it is a waste of time. This behaviour started way before he was diagnosed with either. If anyone has any idea how to force a 15yo 6ft 2 boy to do a glucose reading when they absolutely refuse to do it, I'd like to hear it!