Mobile phones

[J7223j]

My son is being teased at school as we take his mobile off him at night - seems most of his school seem to keep theirs and are on it until god knows what time each night - phone sits their bleeping away. Anyhow his friend constantly tease him. This upsets him a lot. We've explained why we take it away and we think he gets that. We even take my 16 year old's away at night - our house our rules. They friends just won't let it drop. I just cannot believe how many kids are sitting on them all night till all hours. Obviously I'm not going to give in but I'm so sick of the constant peer pressure with kids - last year he got bullied quite bad vi his phone. Seems to me loads of kids are sitting on their phones until the early hours of the morning and on school nights. Also it really pisses me off when these kids come to my house and are all sweet when - then sitting slagging me and my husband off because we don't have them let their phones at 2am in the morning. This upsets my son too.

Sorry he is going through this. Honestly he will be grateful in the end...
My best friend has a very cool teenager who barely looks at his phone. He has girls hankering after him and loads of friends. I think he is starting a trend amongst his group. Could your son adopt a similar aloof approach! Too cool for a sodding mobile, better things to do!

Parents really need to get a grip, having a phone by your bed leaves you unable to switch off and escape. It weakens your memory, worsens your happiness levels and decreases much sleep you get.

We don't take ds phone off him but he does have to put it on flight mode by a certain time. We make him do this otherwise he is woken up by friends calling at stupid o clock. Sleep is so important for teenagers I think it is madness that most of them are on devices for as long as they want.
Da doesn't really use his phone much in the day apart from chatting to a few friends whilst they game together and we have to remind him to take it if he is going out so we can arrange where to pick him up.

I think you need to stick to your rules and reassure your ds it's in his best interests.
I'd be tempted to encourage the friendships that are less bitchy about phone time.

If he doesn’t tell them then they won’t know. No phones on overnight here. Not theirs. Not ours.
And don’t fall for the “everyone else is allowed to!”

Neither of my teenagers have their phones at night.

How do you know he gets teased? And if he is getting teased why is he even telling them?

I think 50% of teenagers have their phones taken off at night. Why would a parent not take it off them! The clues in the name ... teenagers! Most have no boundaries, they'd be online all night.

As a teenager I was on my CB radio all night! Giving away my age! Then spent all day at the nurses station getting some sleep.

As you say, your house, your rules.

What a great post Freda!! I like your style and attitude! Be a bit mysterious, when all the poor dafties are all desperate for the 'likes' and emojos! And your other serious point is on target too!

When my son was a similar age and younger I did the same as OP, phone handed over around 7 or 8 pm (I forget). Other teens (and their parents!) were highly amused and amazed by this. However, they didn't ridicule him nastily. So sounds like a form of bullying unpleasantness in OP's son's case.

Also, and this might not apply in this case, but teens sometimes exagerrate their friends' lifestyle to get the changes they want. Jane goes out when he wants! John goes to bed when he wants! Joel doesn't have to do any chores! Yada yada yada ...

P.S. My DS just-turned-17 has been so awful recently I've changed the password on wifi. He has NO access until he changes his ways or leaves home, his behaviour has been that bad. He complains occasionally, but so what. He can go to the Library/McDonalds/school/whatever if he needs to, not my problem. Interestingly, he has become a more co-operative person since its been turned off completely!

Also why be a follower (do what everyone else does just because thats what everyone else does ), when you could even lead the way a bit by truly being yourself with your values.

I would say he is at it to try and get you to give him his phone. He isn't going to be getting teased unless he explicitly tells people that you take his phone away, not why would he do that?

No hes not at it they know about it because he had a sleepover and I took all of their phones off them around midnight - they didnt like it - but hey i dont care i told my son that they need to get a life if thats what they do all night. Actually I think he get it - just not easy with so much peer pressure. Apparently my older childs friends thinks its weird we do it - no way are my kids going to school with very little sleep - just cant believe other parents let them stay up all hours. As far as we are concerned when they live in our house they live by our rules full stop.

No hes not at it they know about it because he had a sleepover and I took all of their phones off them around midnight

So he is getting bullied because of it?