Hi
I'm after some advice if possible. DS1 is almost 16 and has always had difficult behaviour, but had improved a little a few years ago. I'll give a little bit of background, trying to keep it brief if I can!
Aged 5 to probably 10/11 he would have very angry outbursts, lashing out hurting whoever he could. He would mainly contain these to home, I tried talking to school but they didn't really get it as at school he was a perfect student.
He then hit secondary school and calmed down. A big link was a change in seeing his Dad ( we've been separated since he was a baby) - he still very much saw him but his Dad became more respectful towards DS's needs so it became more about him - in other words he seemed happier all round.
Since then the angry outbursts ( physical) have thankfully stopped, but the abusive language has started 
Last night was a good example. He'd been at a club and came home muddy. I said to go and get a shower then come down and sort something to eat as I wasn't going to be cooking late in the evening. So off he went in the shower, then he got into bed!
Nothing then happened until an hour later (9.30) he starts texting me demanding I cook his tea. I said I'd cook if he came down, which he refused, so I said no. I'd already cooked that evening ( which he'd eaten before going out), run him around to his training, picked him up etc. The least he could do was come and help.
After an hour of him texting me , begging me to cook for him , I gave in. Said to him that I'd put the oven on and put the food in. He now needed to come down and sort it out, eat then tidy away.
No thanks, no apology for pestering me. All I got was " finally" and then when I asked for a thanks he called me a fat bitch and told me to fuck off!!
I then went to bed.
I just don't know what to do with him. His behaviour has always been odd, so he'll swing between being sweetness and light, to name calling and being abusive. It scares me. I wonder what sort of husband he's going to be
He's always just so angry and I always get the brunt of that anger, he swings between acting like we're best of friends to him absolutely hating me. I'd like to say he's just being a teenager but this seems so excessive.
I adore him, and I think he knows that. I feel he takes advantage as he knows whatever he does I'll always stand by him, but now I'm exhausted
What can I do?