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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How to put time limits on teenager's use of Iphone?

30 replies

PixPax · 15/10/2019 11:28

Hi, am sick to death of this subject, but we are not getting this sorted.

DS16 spends too much time on iphone 7. We have agreed leaving it in living room at bedtime at least, but he doesn't. And I'm tired of the arguments and reminders.

I want to find a way to limit use, so (1) there is a shut off time at bed-time and (2) time limits. e.g. I don't want him to be on his phone in his room from 4 p.m. till bedtime!

No chores are getting done, nor homework I suspect.

Anyone any teccie recommendations that are easy to use and than I can control from my iphone ideally. (I did try new Sky Buddy app but it didn't seem to work properly).

I am not the most tekkie person and feel quite overwhelmed with the issue (as well as bored Hmm).

If anyone can offer any ideas, advice or recommendations I'd be grateful.

(I even thought of getting the Gryphon (£209) which is a modem where you can easily pause wifi to devices Grin - without having to get hold of their phones to install apps etc; my son loathe to give me his phone to install any apps there).

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WeakLeftFin · 15/10/2019 11:46

I downloaded Kidslox on my iPhone for DS phone. Can control it. Like how much time a day he has (3hours/5hours etc or no limit) can also set a ‘bedtime’ so every night at certain time it shuts down.
Also have a ‘lock’ function. Can lock the phone down completely.
Took me hours to find one for iPhone. I know google do an amazing one but only for Android.
You can also lock sites or apps with your control too. I do have to pay £3.99 a month for the privilege but it’s worth it in my eyes

Looolabell · 15/10/2019 11:56

You can use screen time on an iPhone if you have one as well. You add his account to yours (think it's called family) and passcode protect the restrictions. You can set a time for it to go off and come back on.

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 12:10

Thanks. I'll look at Kidslox. Looo, I know there is family Screentime thingy on iphone but I actually dont' understand how to do it. Plus I need to get into my son's phone again - the hassle we had trying to download SkyBuddy on there had to be seen to be believed - he held it at a distance in case I "touched" his phone - he does have 'issues' though. Thats why I was wondering about 'Gryphon' router - I can just bypass all that and control it from my router-modem from the beginning!!

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RolytheRhino · 15/10/2019 12:11

If he doesn't leave it downstairs, take it off him the next day.

Presuming it wasn't a gift, in which case I think you're a tad unreasonable to try and restrict his access to it.

Nat6999 · 15/10/2019 12:25

He is 16, let him use his phone when he wants but tell him that if he prioritizes using his phone over school or college work, he must take the consequences. The only way he will learn control is by finding out what happens if he gives his phone priority over everything else.

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 12:29

Done the above suggestions, ad nauseum, and it doesn't work for me. Its not an AIBU question. More a tekky one I guess. I just want to put some easy, reasonable controls in place.

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Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 12:41

Anyone had more success with routers that can control use, for instance?

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FinallyHere · 15/10/2019 12:45

You can certainly control the WiFi from the router, wouldn't anyone just use the phone connection to link to the internet instead?

butmumineedit · 15/10/2019 12:47

How much data does he have each month on his phone ? Ours have 1gb only so have to use it wisely.

Our WiFi in the house is with Bt and I have it set up for individual phones, TVs , xboxes etc so my teenagers go off at 10pm till 7am sun- thurs only and then on all the time fri and sat . But these can change according to how rude/ nice they are being.

It is really easy to do with Bt and the first few times they used their data but soon realised it was better to save it

paddingtonbearsmarmalade · 15/10/2019 12:48

We have Vodafone super fast fibre broadband, through the app you can allow guest connections (I.e. so guests don’t have your actual WiFi password) and force devices to disconnect. Maybe worth seeing if your router/broadband provider already has this kind of mechanism before forking our for something!

mcmen05 · 15/10/2019 12:51

At 16 I let my dd keep her phone at night and she is able to self regulate as long as she does homework and keeps her room and kitchen tidy.
I let her use away at it
My dd 14 and ds 11 they have to leave theirs in kitchen at night from 9pm.

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 12:52

I'm wondering BT might be better than Sky (can't get Sky Boost/Buddy to work properly, though it may be mybad). My Sky router won't let me control wifi access without this anymore - this is a new thing Sky have changed so they can charge more I suppose

Thanks, I'm still mulling it all over ...

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Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 13:00

Having another rummage around Sky hub settings ...

Gin
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CherryChapst1ck · 15/10/2019 13:45

I know you want tech settings but it's so much easier when you come to an agreement between yourselves I have found. One that doesn't rely on systems that he will easily be able to circumnavigate I suspect

Is he open to discussion? What does he feel is fair? Probably 24 hour access I know, but working down from that?

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 14:50

Tried literally everything Cherry. I know my son, and he does have some issues. I also know our circumstances very well. Ideally, if you have a more biddable or reasonable teenager, as many people do, what you describe is obviously the best solution. But it doesn't work in our case. So, its not ideal that I have to get a technical solution, but thats the way its going to have to go. I've looked at my Sky hub this afternoon, and because its an IPV6 mac address (whatever that is) its not easy to block or put limits on. I think I will have go down the third party router route, but will have another mull over the coming week.

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FinallyHere · 15/10/2019 15:46

How far did you get with Sky Buddy ? What was stopping you ?

I read a MN trial of it recently (too much time on my hands) and the feedback seems pretty good. If so, it sounds to be exactly what you are looking for.

Tell me where you are getting stuck, I may be able to help you use it. Happy to try anyway.

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 16:38

Well, that Sky Buddy ship has sailed unfortunately. It doesn't seem to be working, and I found it very confusing as to which device was attached as there were several devices attached to "home" and devices attached to my "son's name", when I'd only paired one. It seemed to show how long spent on devices sometimes, but not others, the pause worked sometimes, but not others. Sometimes it seemed to pause mine included. I rang Sky but they couldn't help me, especially without me having access to my son's phone then and there, which he won't give me anyway. Now there are no devices attached anywhere, so its not even working, after spending literally hours and hours on this. Funnily enough, just asked my son if I can check the Buddy App on his phone to see if its working properly and he started getting shouty saying he's too busy today, so another massive row ensued. I think he's as sick of it all as me, but I've just had to struggle technologically on my own when I don't understand it. Honest, I'm sick to death of the whole thing. But thanks for the offer, very sweet Flowers.

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Purpleartichoke · 15/10/2019 16:47

If you also have an iPhone, this is incredibly simple. Just link his phone to yours and implement screen time
Controls. You can limit time of day it can be used, set limits on time used in a day, etc.

PulpPixie · 15/10/2019 16:56

He’s 16. You shouldn’t be trying to control his phone use.

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 17:04

As I said, Pulppixie its not your decision and if you read the thread, its not an AIBU. I can make these decisions myself for myself and my family (whom you don't even know), thanks all the same.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/10/2019 17:10

It's pretty easy to bypass router controls and Apple screen time if you know what you're doing. Is your son techie?

MissSmiley · 15/10/2019 17:12

I have five children, four of whom have phones and I agree with the people who say it's not about the phone it's about teaching self discipline, self respect and respect for family rules, if at 16 he won't take guidance from you, you have bigger problems than screen time in my opinion

Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 17:18

Thanks Anchor for your post, appreciated.

However, feeling pretty defeated by it all as I'm not tecckie myself (and twatty posts telling me I'm being U not helping).

So, I'm hiding this thread now.

But I will think more about it, and what to do, when I next have time.

Thanks to those who did try to help me though.

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Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 17:20

Well good for you miss smiley, and thanks for pointing out my real problem .... I was just wondering when that MN teen cliche would come up ...

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Original poster
PixPax · 15/10/2019 17:21

from people who don't know us or anything about us and our circumstances, naturally.

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