Inappropriate Messages teenage boy

[Kellymumofboys]

Can anyone offer me any advice? I have a 13 year old, he has had a girlfriend for 7 months and today I looked at his phone (I know this is controversial!) and found some inappropriate messages from him and to him, to his girlfriend. Should I be worried? I have talked to him about being carful about the messages he sends, but obviously it's gone straight over his head. I just feel like 13 is so young. Not sure if I'm over reacting. Just not sure what to do x

Is she the same school year? If so I would sit him down and talk to him about sensible relationships and respect. I've never looked at my (older) DD's phone as it is private, but I have regularly talked to her about respect, ensuring that she doesn't put herself in a vulnerable position etc. when she started dating at 15.

If the girl is younger address that too, if older (more than one school year) I would consider him vulnerable

What do u mean by inappropriate

I was also going to ask about what do you mean as inappropriate?

If there are any nude/ topless pictures of either of them then it is considered to be child pornography and is very worrying.

Sorry, I'm new to Mumsnet, I should have explained more!

When I say inappropriate, I mean more about the things being said, there are no pictures. But there are references to sexual activity (although not happened yet), A lot through memes. They meet up everyday after school.

They are in the same school year.

Thanks

Just a thought , as same school year and I'm assuming same school , can you have quiet word with head of year ? They can run an assembly on sexual phone safety . With luck stopping them progressing to photos .if you show your hand he may well just be better at covering his tracks . I'd think about talking to her mum too , as when this becomes public knowledge, as it will , when they break up , he will be seen as a lad and she will be seen as something altogether different. Good luck OP , teenage years are such fun !

Maybe asking the school to talk about social media and safety but I think it’s naive to think after seven months they haven’t done quite a bit of exploring. But once out there it’s out there and a chat about respect and boundaries is always a good idea - maybe his dad or older brother if he has one could do a ‘man to man’ chat - preferably in the car on the way to footie practise or something! I have no husband do it was a mum to son talk but I’ve inlisted my son’s adult half brothers from time to time!

I had the same with dd1 she is now 16 so I don't look.
but a wee boy of 14 and she was 15 asked her what makes you horny she just sent back a laughing face and asked me what it meant.
I couldn't stop laughing at a wee boy asking my wee girl this. Another time he mentioned something about a celebrity giving him a bj well when I had to explain that she was totally grossed out and said I will never do that. I was on my way to mass when I lifted her phone and just threw it on work top and said delete that message quick.
They didn't last too long after that.
She totally cringes now when I mention it. Sometimes its good to let them know what you have seen and not lecture but have a conversation about it.
Maybe get him to see less of her so they don't have as much opportunity. Get them to go out in a group.

When you're 13 and been together 7 months you're basically married in their eyes. As another has said it's quite naive to believe they haven't done some exploring. I'd be talking about safe sex, incase it has happened/ will be. If teenagers want to have sex, they will. Better informed and safe than not!
When I was at school a 13 year old fell pregnant to another boy in the year!

Thank you for your advice guys, I wonder if I am being naive just as was mentioned. Just can't help but feel they are so young and not emotionally ready for all this.

I will be speaking to the school though, and to my son. All else fails her mum!

Thanks again x