13 year is sulking and gone to stay with his Dad

[1busymum04]

My son (who was born female and who I've been whole heartedly supporting to identify as male) has after a disagreement about devices and an episode of running away, gone to stay/live with his dad. I haven't properly spoken to him for two weeks and his dad is, as far as I know, not encouraging him to make contact. He has not responded to my messages other than to ask for his devices back.
Obviously we are missing him and I have concerns that he has a long journey on his own hy train to his school approx 1 hour each way, has been self harming and not eating properly etc. I also don't know whether to inform tax credits/child benefit/ GP etc. I asked his dad to arrange mediation and I had a letter inviting me to call the mediation service but I can see that this process might be another two weeks or so. Any help/other experiences welcomed. Thank you.

I am experiencing something very similar, except my son has gone to his dad's and his dad has actually moved his school now too. I'm broken.

I know how you must be feeling. Did something trigger this happening?

My DS did this when he was 13 and never came back. He’s 15 now and I barely see him except when he wants something. He was behaving very badly at the time (constant trouble at school despite being very well behaved at junior school) as well as antisocial behaviour. I was at the end of my tether at the time and one day he just text me to say he was going to his dad”s to live.

Since the he’s been permanently excluded from school and his key worker tells me he’s smoking weed on most days. His dad is apparently ok with this as “it calms him down”.

I have no advice OP other than to say I.have some experience of what you are going through. My DS was/is old enough to decide where he wants to live and that’s with his dad where there are no rules.