Shouting at 12 yr old daughter

[CathGib]

Every time my husband or I try to discuss something with our daughter, such as her sugar intake. The conversation escalates she raises her voice and rolls her eyes. Says she doesn’t care what we think. We have tried to say look we are not going to get into a shouting match but it normally ends up that way. I physically want to strangle her some days. It seems she is the most lazy stubborn person around. Getting her to do anything ends up with shouting after asking her 4 times such as wash the pots or put your retainer in. I don’t know what to do we have taken her phone off her, refused to take her to football (she went up the wall at that one) I can’t get through to her. She says I’m sorry then we are at it again. She has no respect for me or her dad.

My dd had blood tests came back low sugar levels low iron and low vitamin d
I googled it found this and showed it to her.
She is really trying to eat healthy now.

It's frustrating but it is a phase. She'll be more reasonable in a year or two, especially when she wants to be slim and gorgeous with good skin. I used to eat all sorts of junk at that age but it didn't last.

Unless she has real health problems, it's best to not make too much of an issue out of it. She is more than what she eats after all. She must have good points and playing football is excellent exercise. Just make sure you provide good meals, nutritious and tasty, lots of fruit and talk about something else.

Try having less sugary stuff in the house (or hide it!). Keep the fruit bowl topped up and varied and say she can make toast etc. They do get very hungry at that age. Find articles linking bad diet to bad skin and send her links.

It's hard to do, but I think you have to let her fail and miss out when it comes to laziness. Leave her to be late so she'll learn her lesson. Go out without her if she's not ready.

Remind her that she'll need more work on her teeth if she doesn't wear her retainer. Send her pics of bad teeth. You can't physically put it in her mouth so it's her responsibility. If she has a check up due, mention to the dentist that she's 'forgetting' her retainer so hopefully he or she will tell her how important it is!

Leave post it notes around with reminders or send texts.

Don't get into slanging matches. Teens are amazing at twisting words and keeping arguments going. Say 'I'm done discussing this now' and walk away (to eat the chocolate you've hidden!).

I have recently had the same and have come to realise that I haven't had enough to occupy myself and been bored with life therefore focusing too much on what my daughter is or is not doing all' the time! Somehow I in the past week made a positive change and I am learning to be less anxious and as frustrated as I am feeling about the non listening, non response, non effect if I shout or talk calmly! I am putting on a good film or picking up my book which has proved a great distraction even taken to those adult colouring books. This appears to be working and I hadn't noticed how much I have been going on at my daughter until I stood back. Now I am standing back she is coming to me but like I mentioned early days of practising this new learning but keeping my fingers crossed and trying so hard to be positive! Keep your chin up :)