DS 17 dealing weed

[Zaor]

Hello All, I have just discovered that DS17 has been selling weed. Im sick and horrified. He sees nothing wrong with it. He says its only to his friends and they will buy it from someone else if not him. He sees it as the only way he can earn money because he doesn't want to get a job.

Its like I have 2 sons. That one described above and the other one who will clean the bathrooms on a Saturday, helps around the house study hard and is actually a nice chap.

I told him that he wasn't going to be doing that from my house so he packed his bags and left on his bike. I don't know where he is but suspect he will be at a friends. I'm sick with worry. He was crying and upset when he left.

I just can't understand it. Hes been brought up knowing the difference between right and wrong. His teachers all say he is a pleasure to teach and polite etc. Yet somehow he can rationalise that its ok to do this. I'm gobsmacked.

He is hanging around with 2 kids who are in trouble with the law - the more I try to discourage him the more he sees them. He idolises another friend's mum and she has a terrible attitute towards the police and is regularly stoned herself. He thinks this is so cool.

He has had counselling when we found he was smoking weed but the counsellor himself said it was doing no good because although DS was polite and talked away he had no intention of giving it up.

How do I get him thinking straight?

Hi sorry to hear you are going through this. It must be really tough for you. He is at that age where young people are easily influenced and unfortunately he is in with the wrong crowd. You love him and have his best interest but he can’t see that. Its likely he will be back home once he calms down.

Is there anyone else he looks up to? Someone he admires a teacher, friend or family member. Maybe they could talk to him.
In some local areas they have youth groups. In my area they have an ex dealer who is now a youth worker helping young kids.

Is there anyone who can maybe offer him some part time work.

None of this is your fault. As you said, you raised him well and that’s all a mother can do. It’s the society we live in that is pushing our young people to crime.

You mention teachers is he doing A-levels? Sometimes they may not be enjoying the course they are doing and it may help them to change course. Speak to him and make sure he is happy. If he can get onto an apprenticeship course he could earn while he studies
Hope he gets back on track soon xx

Thanks for replying Suki84

He stayed at a friends house last night. He isn't really close to any other adult and I often wonder if thats something missing in his life. He has mentioned his maths teacher a lot and respects her so I might have a quite chat with her. We are in Ireland so hes in senior cycle - they do 7 subjects and he seems to enjoy most of them. Hes quite academic.

He won't even try to get a job. He worked for his Uncle for a few weeks over the summer but hated it. He was just labouring on building sites. Its like it has turned him off working now. He often says he has no intention of working for 8 or 9 hours a day like myself and his Dad. He has no idea what he wants to do in his life. If he had some focus it might help.

I was googling wilderness therapy as he loves activities when we are on holidays. Maybe if I can get him away from home and these "friends" for a while to break the cycle then he would start to see straight.