Teen has has IUD fitted

[bookwormsforever]

Without telling me.

We have been discussing sex recently, I thought she could talk to me about anything. She mentioned an IUD, I mentioned the pill. Tonight I find that she had an IUD fitted in August. She lied about where she was going, what she was doing. Said tonight she thought I’d be proud she had been responsible.

I don’t know how to feel. Shocked that she has lied when there was no need to. Upset. I thought she could talk to me. And worried. Her periods have been so painful since having it fitted and I haven’t known why.

How would you react? She’s 15. Has been with her boyfriend since January, but their relationship has been rocky recently.

Definitely check if it’s mirena. Hormonal contraceptives, which were the default at the time, spiralled me into depression as a late teen. Sister reacted very badly too. We kept being told there was no link. I settled on copper coil in 20s, sister on condoms, no more drama.

I think you sound like lovely concerned mum, in many ways it’s not bad that she feels able to do these things on her own but wants to tell you afterwards.

@bookwormsforever
"I worry dd is young. She’s also in Year 11 and hav8ng suicidal thoughts, cutting herself - just found this all out tonight. Feel i’ve Failed her that she’s keeping things fr9m me, and feel so sad for her. Just want her to be happy."

This may well be why she was offered the coil, the pill would be terrible for someone with suicidal thoughts. Even if it's the mirena the hormone levels are much less than the pill you wanted her on. And if her periods are uncomfortable that's between her and her Dr in a medical sense (hopefully for you to support, but not for you to dictate) she's clearly capable of seeking help, it's not like it isn't reversible.

It sounds like you've raised a switched on, proactive, independent young woman, you haven't failed her. I hope she gets help for her mental health though of course.

Just saw your update
She's really brave for coming to you with all this
You haven't failed her, she's been trying to put on a brave face
She's trusted you now.

To have the maturity to go get BC with all that in her head too, sounds like you've raised a smart young woman