Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD's Friend Tells Lies

5 replies

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 24/09/2019 21:23

DD (14) has recently become close to a girl "A" (15) whom she's known since nursery but has never been particular friends with Her Mum and I are already good friends so it's a nice development in that we know each so well and can be laid-back about sleepovers, carpooling, etc. now the girls want to hang out a lot.

The only problem is that "A" has a history of telling lies to her Mum about where she's going/who she's with and last week, she got DD to go along with it. Sad A group of friends was supposed to be going to a local restaurant for a birthday celebration (across the street from her house) but she actually got an older friend to drive them into town to a different restaurant. Of course, she got found out when she posted a photo on Instagram!

I was slightly surprised that the Mum allowed them to eat out unaccompanied in the evening, but I suppose they know the local restaurant really well. Anyway, her Mum was very upset as this is yet another instance of telling lies and I wasn't pleased with DD either.

DD and I had a talk about safety and how I was shocked that she'd lied to me. I think she got the message that I always need to know where she is.

How do I handle this friendship going forward? "A" isn't horrible, but she seems mixed up (parents went through a nasty divorce and she gets conflicting messages from them) and tbh I don't think she has much common sense. She really likes me apparently, thinks I'm nice and easy to talk to. But, she seems to seek out trouble and although DD is a strong personality (not easily led), she might go along with things if she thinks it'll be fun. I don't trust "A".

Ugh, I now wish they hadn't become close friends!

OP posts:
Catapillarsruletheworld · 25/09/2019 18:55

What you’ve described isn’t particularly terrible. They could have lied about where they were and be drinking down the park instead! fondly remembers teenage years

I would just make it clear to your dd that you’d appreciate it if she’d let you know if plans change and leave it at that for the time being.

I’m surprised that your surprised they’d be allowed to eat out alone in the evening.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 25/09/2019 23:03

Yeah, I know it wasn't terrible, but my fear is that this is just the start and she'll keep encouraging DD to lie about parties, drinking, etc. I think she wants to be wild but just hasn't had the opportunity yet!

Also, we live in a city with a high crime rate so children not being where you think they are could be dangerous - totally unlike the town I grew up in. I wish I could be less cautious but no one here would let their teens go to a restaurant in the city centre without adult supervision, too many guns. Sad

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 25/09/2019 23:08

They went to a different restaurant?
Um, I'd say nothing but perhaps not let your Dd join in.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/09/2019 23:09

Are you in the UK?

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 25/09/2019 23:14

No, in the US atm. Grew up in the UK so completely different childhood. It's far more dangerous here. Sad

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread