Would you let teenager on this sleepover?

[Alwayssaythewrongthing]

Ds 13 has asked if he can go to a sleepover at friends house this weekend, there’s apparently going to be a group of them there (all aged 13 or 14).
If I knew the parents I would be fine but I’ve no idea who they are or if they are definitely going to be home so feeling unsure about it

I'd be messaging the parents to get more info.

I’d want more info first for sure!

Yeah think I’ll be telling him that unless I speak with other parents first he won’t be going.

Have a 13 year old son. When I don't k ie parents i ask the kids to get them to message me. Ie my son gives my number to other boys mum. Last time she fb messaged me and yes I hsve let my son go to a sleepover not knowing parents.

Yes, if I had the address and a contact phone number. This is non-negotiable for any member of the family - knowing where we are and how to get in touch. I would probably then text the parents so they had my number. And give DS a password to text to me if things weren't going well and he wanted rescuing.

It's really hard at this age but at some point to has to switch from who you do/don't know to trusting your DC and the DC knowing how to be safe and what to do if they're not comfortable.

So, if it was a friend DS is close too and who appears to be a "good" child, I'd have a chat about expectations of behaviour and calling me if there was anything untoward or if he decided he'd prefer not to stay and I'd let my DS go but to a large extent it will depend on the maturity of your child.

Aw it’s so hard at this age . I want him to go have fun with his friends but I’m such a worrier - I know a lot of kids in his year have started drinking so just wanting to make sure there is going to be an adult there to keep an eye out. He is quite mature and wouldn’t think twice about phoning me if there were any problems.
I’m going to ask him to give my number to parent and ask them to message me.

I have said yes in that scenario based on the fact I knew one of the other invited boy's parents, who did know the host parents, and I trusted their judgement. Still insisted on a phone number & checked by doing an introductory text saying DS looking forward to it & asking if would be helpful if he brought a sleeping bag.

Always make contact with the other parents I say, any decent parent wouldn't mind you asking for reassurance and if they did would this be a place you would want your child to be anyway?