Help!

[Kassy40]

This is my first time posting. I don’t know where to start but here goes.
My 13 year old daughter has been suffering emotionally for about 12 months. She doesn’t want to talk about her feeling to us. She said she doesn’t want to open up! She breaks down in tears at school and often gets into arguments with other kids especially when they wind her up! She said she just wants to punch them! She’s had counselling session at school which helped a bit but these have now stopped. (I’ve just requested more) It’s a constant battle when we ask her to do her ‘one’ chore that she gets paid for! She says she fed up and she wants to run away, she hates me and her dad. She’s regularly saying she doesn’t want to live anymore. This is ripping us apart as a family and my mental health is deteriorating. I’ve made appointments with our GP but she refuses to go! Any suggestions appreciated. I’m at my wits end.

it might help to explain to her what would happen if she agreed to see a GP

teens often have very strange ideas of what happens if you are diagnosed with some kind of mental health problem

first of all, the GP isn't going to anything very drastic at all

they will have a brief chat to establish whether they think she needs to see somebody more qualified (CAHMS)

if they decide she needs help, they will refer her on; waiting lists are long at the moment so this may take some time

when she gets to see the specialist, they will not do anything sudden or nasty or without her consent either

it will start with a longer session to find out what the problem is- at some point they will probably ask you to leave the room so she can talk more freely

the treatment will probably focus on identifying situations that are difficult for her and teaching her techniques for dealing with them (CBT)

this may involve relaxation techniques, techniques for avoiding or rephrasing negative thoughts, techniques for handling difficult situations

it is not about taking away her control, it is about putting her in control of her life

my dd was referred at about this age

in her case, her MH problems did turn out to be part of a longer problem (started much earlier than your dd's too) and she did need medication in the ends, as well as the CBT

but she is now a functioning adult, lives away from home and is studying the subject she has always dreamt of

hang in there- and hope your dd gets help soon!

Thank you for replying.