worried about my 17 year old son

[chexilady]

where do I start, since my son was in the 3rd year at secondary school he hardly went in, I got couple of fines and realised he had a bad anxiety disorder, I got him in a medical school for kids with problems and also got him in camhs, I only managed to get him to these a few times which ment he left school with no exam results, I got him in college which he went to once, I then got him a job which he only did one day, he never leaves the house has no friends anymore and doesn't hardly wash, he will not see a doctor or accept any help from authorities, he was a big lad and weighed around 16 stone, hes now about 8 stone at the most and still loosing, im really worried about his health, his dad dies when he was 5 and I have brought him up on my own, any advise would be great.

is anyone there

Can you go and talk to:the gp about him?

Can Young Lives help?

young lives

Is it worth speaking to cams again?

Is there a mental health crisis team in the area?

Sorry, nothing constructive, and avenues i’m Sure you have considered.

I've never heard of a mental health crisis team, he seems to of developed an eating disorder and doesn't really eat much, and if it carries on I know he will end up in hospital :(

I work in eating disorders, please take him to your go and demand a referral to the eating disorder service. Don't let the doctor weigh him and tell him to come back in a few weeks. He needs to have a referral and given his age he needs to be seen quickly to access good treatment before he's 18. The nice guidelines state he should be seen by the eating disorders team within 2 weeks but if he's lost half his bodyweight that would class as an emergency which would mean he will be assessed within 24 hours.

Some trusts even have a self referral system which can be done online

The doctor can also refer him to the crisis team. They are a specialist team that will come and assess his needs. Unfortunately there is little help out there apart from antidepressants, but depending on your authority, the doctor may be able to get him counselling . He definitely needs to be seen by a specialist in eating disorders. You need to really push for help for him. If he is as depressed as he sounds he will find it really hard to make the effort himself. I really feel for you, you must be desperately worried.

I didn’t want to read and run. I have a 17 yr old boy and that made me read your post.
You must be so terribly worried. Does he talk to you at all? What does he do all day to pass the time?
I agree with pp he needs to see someone about his weight loss - is he controlling what he eats or just not bothering to eat? To be honest is sounds as though he is self neglecting and that would come under the mental heath team. Do cahms still see him? Or now he’s over 16 does he fall into the adult services? I’m sorry I’m not very clued up on where he would fall.
Start by seeing your gp - not sure how you will get him there though. Or phone the crisis team. I’m sure there must be a number for the services near to you.
Just as an aside but do remember to look after yourself too

mental health team

Kent mental health team, plus other useful contacts.

Sorry, meant to say you may have similar in your area.

all he does all day is stuff on his laptop, quite often he will sleep through the day and is awake all night, he says hes not depressed and does want to better himself by investing and doing work on the internet to make money, he flat right refuses to go to the doctor.

Can you tempt him doing online courses? Online excel course for example?

he has only one vision , to make money doing things on the computer then leave and go somewhere nobody knows him and start again, he has convinced himself this is the way to go but myself and family think he's just living in a dream world.

I didn’t want to read and run. I have a 17 yr old boy and that made me read your post.
You must be so terribly worried. Does he talk to you at all? What does he do all day to pass the time?
I agree with pp he needs to see someone about his weight loss - is he controlling what he eats or just not bothering to eat? To be honest is sounds as though he is self neglecting and that would come under the mental heath team. Do cahms still see him? Or now he’s over 16 does he fall into the adult services? I’m sorry I’m not very clued up on where he would fall.
Start by seeing your gp - not sure how you will get him there though. Or phone the crisis team. I’m sure there must be a number for the services near to you.
Just as an aside but do remember to look after yourself too

I'm sorry to be blunt here but he really needs to see a doctor to get a referral or be referred through self referral. If it is a restrictive eating disorder such as anorexia it is a life threatening illness that can and does kill, if he's gone from 16 stone to 8 stone his body will be well into starvation mode and he's at risk of a heart attack amongst other things. If it's hard getting to a gp, phone and explain the situation they may have other ways around it. Even if it's not an eating disorder, the fact that his body weight has dropped so drastically will mean he's still going to be suffering from the physical effects of malnutrition. Malnutrition also massively affects brain function and cognitive skills, it increases anxiety. So until the malnutrition is addressed the other bits will continue, or get worse.

my son has lost this weight over a 2 year period, but he has become very picky with food, im more concerned with him never leaving the house and not having much of a life, its very hard to provide for both of us being a single parent.

Definitely go back to the GP and demand referral. The weight loss is really concerning. I find GPs are v hot on weight teens. My slim DS always gets questioned about his weight when we go to the Dr but he’s naturally slim and has never lost weight.