Phone at night

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When my DD is at school she doesn’t have her phone at night but we have massive battles as she thinks she should be trusted with it. She is coming up 15. Should I give in?

DS has just started in Y10 and he isn't allowed his phone or iPad overnight on school nights, they have to be handed over around 9.30. On the weekends he can keep them. We have no intention of changing this rule until after GCSE's.

We stopped ours having them after dinner. We've had fights and sulks but they're much nicer children and actually sit with us and chat when they aren't constantly attached to their bloody phones/ipads.

I might be wrong but I dont take my dc phones of them they need to leran control and I trust them to turn them off for sleep. they interact well with us and others but taking phones off them is 1 battle Im not willing to enter.

We take them off the children as my daughter is constantly on her phone. However my daughter proudly states she is more popular with the boys now as unavailable. Silver linings and all that.

Y10 and Y9 here. Xbox off at 9pm, bed at 10pm with phones out of room. Fri, Sat and school hols then can keep the phone with them. It's non-negotiable in this house and the one thing I am strict on.

I take them away. My philosophy is that plenty of adults find it difficult to control their urges to be glued to their phones. So I provide the restrictions. I used to let them have unlimited access on weekends and holidays but now I restrict them at set times all the time.

I managed to persuade my teens to leave phones downstairs at night until after they had finished their GCSEs .... I now wish, with hindsight, I'd continued until after A levels as their results didn't reflect what they were capable of and I'm sure tech and tiredness played a big part.

But that would have been very difficult up to and over the age of 18!

I know BigSandy, age 17/18 it gets a bit trickier.

At the moment I'm insisting phone in living room by 10 pm. - though I would prefer 9 p.m. Of course he's nearly 17, so its a bit harder. But I am determined. I think the best thing is to start these rules as early as possible, and stick to it, agree it before they even get a bloody phone. Agree with also sticking to it all through weekend and holidays, as changing about messes with their expectations and hard to get them back to school-rules.

I think parents are getting wise to it all now, which is good. But what a tiresome and annoying journey it has been for some of us who were new to it all.

Bloomburger has it.

I'm in Y10 now, and honestly, you really should take it away. I won't deny that I'd probably get better sleep if I had better control of what time I spent on my phone at night. My mum got me an alarm clock, and set up a rule just a few months ago that I had to give up my phone at 8:30pm, and though at first I tried to be defiant, and did eventually go to sleep. Though my school performance isn't usually effected by it, since I've gotten a bit better at my sense of self-control. Try and buy her more books or something, it gives her something to do. I often find that the reason I'm on my phone so much is due to the lack of activities I have at home. Spending time with the family isn't always as invigorating as many parent's may think, everyone has their own lives within the home. I hope this advice helped :D

I don't let my 13 year old have her phone in bed. It's hypocritical because I use mine in bed (I need to stop doing this).

I take away DDs phone at night. She's 13, nearly 14. Apparently it makes me the worst mother ever but I don't care. Often when I'm going to bed at 11/12 I can see the notifications still flashing up on her phone as school friends message her and each other. I'm fairly sure the parents of these young teens think their children are asleep...

No, you should not give in. For my daughters, even for the oldest 16, it's not allowed to have the phone at night. We use the parental control option to block the devices one hour before bedtime and to limit the maximum screen time during the day.
Since it's an automatic preset thing we haven't daily discussions, complaints or battles. Checking or taking the phone every night could be just the moment for the battle because there are options and choice depending on you and on the moment, with parental control you have to do nothing, you may be not at home, and the phone will be blocked anyway. I suggest to install and use it (iphone already has it, for android use the standard Google free app Family link).
It's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of good sleeping and health, if she will be sleeping what's the point? She shouldn't have problem with that!

My dd is nearly 15 & phone has to be handed to us by 9pm on a school night, 10.30 on a weekend. Ds is 10, he doesn’t really use his phone a lot anyway and never has it overnight, although he’s told me, like dd has, many times that most of their friends are allowed their phones in their bedrooms all night & on school nights. I believe some of dd’s friends do as southofmanc said, the notifications & msg that come through late into the night on dd’s phone.

Ds is nearly 14 and isn't allowed his phone in his room at night - it has to be plugged in downstairs by 10 (although I think we need to make it earlier on a school night - got into bad habits over summer which have leeched into term time).
He isn't great at self-regulation and absolutely wouldn't have the will power to turn it off and go to sleep if friends were still messaging.

If you want her messaging all night and no sleep,let her keep her phone.

She’s a child and phones are addictive.