Feel so sad for my DS girlfriend

[Myfirstcarwasamini]

My DS is off to uni in September. He's been in a relationship with a really sweet girl for last two years. They've taken a break today as things between this week reached a head and DS said he doesn't want to argue with her but he just couldn't be around her anymore. From what he's told me it sounds as she is really hurting that he's going away. He will only be half an hour away and they've talked about how they can see each other but he says she is very insecure and jealous. She is yet to find a job she likes, lacks confidence. I can relate as was just the same at her age and as I did at the time she doesn't feel she can talk to her mum about these things. I feel worried and upset for her but don't know whether to get involved because I'd hate for my DS to feel I'm meddling. I just hate to think of her upset and without anyone to talk to. I keep feeling the urge to message her to say that I'm always here for her to talk to but don't know if that's the right thing to do. Any advice anyone? WWYD?

Have you asked your ds if he’d have a problem with you contacting and supporting her? It could be done sensitively and perhaps you could just provide an ear/shoulder?

You’d have to make sure though that if he wants to separate and move on, which is completely legitimate, you don’t make this more difficult for him. Perhaps research some support for her and point her sympathetically in the right direction?

You need to support your own ds and stay out of it. He is old enough to make his own decisions and far too young to be so serious.
Let him go to college and enjoy his freedom. If they are meant to be let them sort it out.

I remember a boyfriend’s mother writing to me after we split up and I thought it was very sweet but totally inappropriate, I was 19 and I didn’t need another mother (my own wouldn’t have spoken to me about relationships anyway). Leave her alone and she’ll bounce back faster.

That’s all a bit sad isn’t it.

I think you should talk to DS & see how he feels. If he’s not too keen for yiunto he a shoulder fur gerbto cry on, then you can send her some people she could contact

It’s lovely to know, when you break up with someone, that the people you care about and have been saying they care about you were genuine - that they liked YOU As a person, not just as DS’s GF. It’s not interfering just to say you’re sorry it has ended & that she’s hurting xx

You need to stay out of it op. She's not you. And you need to let him manage his own relationships.

Stay out of it OP. Your loyalty here is to your son.

Stay out of it. Sad as you get attached. He is going to university and the reality is few ore university relationships survive.

There are lots of girls he will be friendly with, and more besides

I don't see any harm in messaging to tell her that you hope she's ok and that you'll miss her or that it was lovely to get to know her etc.
Tell your DS that as a woman you understand how she might be feeling and that while your loyalty is with him, it feels the right thing to do in case she's really hurting, and in case she's sad about no longer being part of all of your lives, not just your DS
You're not interfering you're just being kind

Sending a short message, is one thing,but support and a shoulder to cry on is a really bad idea. Do you really want to know the intimate details of their relationship ?