Dreading going back to school

9 replies

SallyCinnamons · 25/08/2019 17:32

This is going to sound ridiculous but I don't know where to go or what to do from here...
My 14yo DD has hated secondary school since she's been there but the older she's got, the worse it's got. She's due to go back in to year 10 in two weeks and the tears and pleading has already started.
She has a weekend job in a horse racing yard which she's worked at a lot through the holidays. A lot of the people she works with dropped out of school about her age either by being expelled or saying they're home schooled. She wants to know why she can't do this! I've told her she can't!
Over the last year or so we've looked at different schools, she chose to stay at her current one as didn't want to leave friends. The school have tried different things to help her. There are no friendship issues as far as I'm aware, she just says it's boring and she hates it! If I said she could give up and work full time she'd do it tomorrow!

So, my question is, how have the others at her work been able to claim they're 'home schooled' and what do I do on the first day back when she's crying and refusing to go 😔

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sleepismysuperpower1 · 25/08/2019 17:53

would you consider other options, like online school? this one here has an article about school phobia, which your daughter may be able to relate to. they offer a range of subjects to take for GCSE, so she wouldn't have to drop choices etc, and you can get feedback from the tutors online once she has completed the assessments and assignments.

if not, I think i would tell her that she needs to get through year 10 and 11 so she sits her GCSEs, and then I would consider online school for a level if she is still unhappy. it might motivate her if she can see an end if that makes sense x

BloodyhellMartha · 25/08/2019 18:20

Perhaps they were 'home schooled'? Are you prepared to educate her at home, or do you work? It's difficult when she sees how cool it would be to just work in a racing stables and not go to school, but honestly, she needs to be in some form of education til 18 nowadays.

Is it other 14 year olds saying they dropped out Or are they much older? Is the racing stables offering any work during the week to a home schooled 14 yo? And is it likely to lead to a full time job? At the moment everything seems great to her, but unfortunately at the end of the day she has to go to school, or some form of education. She knows this - she can't seriously expect her parents to say 'ok, you don't have to go to school' and she must know it.

Original poster

SallyCinnamons · 25/08/2019 18:36

Thank you for the replies.
Home schooling just isn't an option, I work full time and I'm not very clever 🙈
I don't know how the other have done it, she tells me their parents have taken them out to be home schooled but they just work!
I've told her to just get through the next two years, she's already been offered an apprenticeship for after school.
Unfortunately it doesn't require any grades so she's already told me she won't be trying in her GCSEs!

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sleepismysuperpower1 · 25/08/2019 18:42

can you try and persuade her to try? eg: If you don't i will think about you taking a levels rather than the apprenticeship? if she wants to switch jobs later on or do another course, gcses will be important...

bookmum08 · 25/08/2019 18:55

Could she switch to a 14+ College or school (sometimes called University Technical Colleges - UTCs) if you have one near you. They tend to focus in a specific field and pupils can do a smaller amount of GCSEs or ones more relevant to the final goal or they may offer a wider range of btecs than a typical secondary school does. There aren't many UTCs so unfortunately you may not have one near you. Studio Schools are similar concept. They are usually a school within a school. Or some Further Education colleges will take at age 14. Apparently a lot of homeschoolers who want to do GCSEs go to a college rather than a school to do them.

MoobaaMoobaa · 25/08/2019 19:13

Some teens are just not suited to school and are better making their way in a work environment. It really is unfortunate that she is being influenced by the people she works with though.

maybe you could get her to set her sights a bit higher. By talking about what she wants from a career in horses? How she could further her career in horses with the Right equine qualifications. She may have been offered an apprenticeship, but you can find her a better one for her to focus on.

There are BHS training centres that take 16 olds as Apprentices to do their stages. They get to move out home and be more independent and live with other students. These centres may broaden her mind to other paths within the industry.

Get her to focus on getting through these 2 years and then get her away to a good centre. They usually offer GCSE Maths and English along side the apprenticeship.

Once she's got some BHS qualifications under her belt she can move about to any part of the industry, no one will care about her GCSES. There are lots stages to do and she could get right to the top as a teacher, trainer or coach if she wanted to.

MoobaaMoobaa · 25/08/2019 19:16

also what bookmum08 said.

I'm sure some equine colleges do offer this, but it's finding them.

TeenTimesTwo · 25/08/2019 20:07

No idea where you are, but we have this locally to us in Hampshire www.sparsholt.ac.uk/college/equine-centre/
They also have a boarding house...

Original poster

SallyCinnamons · 27/08/2019 09:42

Thanks again for the replies..
She has a very good work ethic, her employer can't praise her enough and she's done well saving. That work ethic just doesn't apply to school!
We had a conversation last night about it, I've told her she'll have to stick these two years out and then she can go off to race college.
Gah, teen girls are hard!

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