Advice on how to handle this situation!

[headiswrecked]

After posting this twice in error on the wrong threads I’m hoping third time lucky!

I’m not a regular poster but avid follower of the thread. Couldn’t go through this without getting your thoughts on how to prepare myself for what’s to come. Dd 17 thinks she might be pregnant. She went on holiday with a school friend and friends mum.. drank too much one night(she says she was spiked but after some investigation I think it was just too much alcohol) and her friend found her alone with a guy half dressed.. she doesn’t remember if they had sex or not! She’s only telling me all this now 3 weeks later because her period is late. She’s on the pill but we all know that’s no guarantee. I’ve bought a test and am sitting waiting for her to “need to pee” before she does it... she is putting it off big time, she’s pretty terrified.
I feel I know how I’ll handle it if the result is positive but don’t want to mess it up and make things worse so any advice on what I should do/say to her if it’s positive would be greatly appreciated... regardless of the result we’ll be going to the std clinic tomorrow but just want to get her through this before I land that one on her!

Blimey. No advice I'm afraid - I'd be just as worried as you and her.

But a handhold if it helps. 🙏🏻

Tell her you love her, that we all cock up sometimes and it's what happens next that matters - and whatever happens you will be by her side.

@Spaghettio thank you, still waiting for her to tell me she’s ready.. don’t want to keep asking her but my head’s going to explode shortly!

How awful, your dd needs a big hug and lots of reassurance.

Was she sexually assaulted? Sounds like she might have been too intoxicated to have consensual intercourse? Might well be a police matter. Big hugs to you both xx

I can only imagine! I recently had to do a pregnancy test and I didn't know how I felt about the possibility of it being positive. I delayed as long as I could. (And I'm a married mother already.)

Go give her a glass of water and a chat about knowledge is power. The sooner you know, the sooner you can plan.

Well, possibly out on a limb,but I would be telling my daughter to get an abortion - as quickly as possible. Hope the result is negative. Tell her to feel no guilt as we all do silly stuff sometimes.

@dalmatianmadi That’s the thing.. my feelings are it couldn’t have been consensual if she was completely out of it? Having said that she has no memory of it so she may have agreed.. to complicate matters she was in Italy at the time, it was 3 weeks ago.. friend says she’s no idea who the guy was! Not sure how I’d even begin with the police!
I’ve reassured her that most women I know have been in this situation at one time or another, that no matter what the outcome we’ll deal with it but she needs to know! She’s a major procrastinator at the best of times so she’ll do anything in her power to avoid this I reckon.. poor thing, my heart is breaking for her.. even if the test is negative she’s still going to be messed up after an experience like that!

I think she needs a big hug, and along the lines of “whatever you do, I love you and will support you”

It’s negative!!! Thank you so much for the hand holding..

The longest three minutes of my life!!

Omg! Great news! Such a relief. 🙌🏻

The Adrenalin is wearing off and I’m only now getting my head round the fact I just did a pregnancy test with my 17 yr old dd! Not something I want to repeat I can tell you.. will be even more anxious about results from the clinic tbh.. she’s so relieved and saying she’s never drinking again(Highly unlikely) but let’s hope it’s been a bit of a wake up call for her.. thanks again for the replies and advice x

Sometimes these sorts of shocks are the best kind of wake up call. Good luck to her for the results from the clinic.

You've done some good mothering today. It might not have been what your thought you'd do - but you've coped well. Go have a or a

Hi, glad it was negative. Can i suggest you take her to the gp just to be sure, not all tests are accurate and sometimes doesnt show positive at first.

Best of luck.

What a wonderfully supportive mum you are

Can I also just add what a brilliant, approachable and supportive mum you must be for your daughter to feel able to come to you with this. So many other teenagers wouldn't have been able to share this with their mums.

Can I suggest you get her tested for stds as well, far better the embarrassment than to be sorry. I hope she's learned an important lesson.

Wow thanks ladies...funnily enough I was thinking the opposite of myself until I read your comments.. usual beating yourself up for mistakes your teens make, blaming myself for not preparing her properly, for letting her go to Italy etc etc etc..thankfully she’s pretty open with me about most things although I may never have known about this incident if she got her period on time! We’re off to the GP tomorrow, not sure if she can get all necessary tests there or if we will have to go to the clinic also but better to be safe than sorry..

Hi, looking for some advice on how to handle my teenage daughter, she’s 15.
Just to give you a bit of background, it’s just her and I living in a two-bedroom house. She thinks she knows everything, she doesn’t eat anything remotely healthy, she doesn’t go to sleep until 3am at the earliest (whilst it’s the holidays at least) and if I try and tackle her about anything (I have tried several different tactics including talking softly to occasionally completely losing it) and she always has an argument to do things her way.

I know this is an age-old problem, but I would be very interested to hear other mums and dads points of view. My relationship with her is going downhill fast because we just don’t even communicate any more.
TIA xx