Should I be concerned...

[Meandkids]

Hi,

I have 2 kids - girl - 14 (going into year 10) and boy -12 (going into year 8).

Both seem to struggle in the holidays to go out with pals. Oldest has had friendship issues at school - but has grown with that and I am proud of the mature and laid back attitude she now seems to have. She has outside interests but no real close friends - I think she keeps kids at arms length as she has been hurt by close friends before which makes her not want to share as she doesn't have the trust.
She has lots of 'friends' and is constantly messaging people but as far as going out, not quite as much as I'd like... She seems happy enough so am I over worrying???

Similar set up with my youngest who doesn't have anyone who lives really close for him to knock about with so its quite a lot of organising and boys just don't seem to bother. He is mature as well as was invited into town with some pals but told me that he didn't want to go as they get kicked out of places and get into trouble and he doesn't want to be part of that. He too has lots of outside interests but again should I be worried that both my kids seem to struggle to keep true friendships?

They are both lovely kids (rose coloured glasses) but I know they could be annoying etc. just makes me sad that they have no one they can trust...

Welcoming any advice...

My 16yo hasn't been anywhere this summer. He seems to be in constant contact but they just don't seem to go out any more

Part of me is quite pleased they don't hand around on street corners anymore like i did .Apparently this shift in the way they "socialise" is being credited with the reduction we've seen in teenage drinking and pregnancy.

Anyway DS seems happy and he's keeping out of trouble

No. Loads of them have summers like this. Completely normal. Let them be - they are likely to become more social by sixth form.

Thanks guys that's hugely reassuring... I think when I hear that others are out all the time that's when you question your kids and what they are like in the real world...

Hey I was the same and tbh in the long run it paid off not to have any one too close at that age...sometimes ppl use things from young age to get back at you when ur older n having witnessed that I was always cautious. I hardly ever went anywhere and tbh it wasnt until I got in to uni that I made my friends for life. They will gain friends and lose friends as they get older and pir own experiences of childhood may be different to theirs 🤷🏻‍♀️I'm older now and have a tight knit group of friends. It made me more independent like I dont rely on having a friend with me for things all the time i.e going gym going out etc. (I do have friends I just learnt to be independent)

Completely normal. Mine communicate with friends through gaming headsets, chatting away for hours whilst either playing the same games together or whilst playing different games.

I would much rather this than hanging out at the local park with God alone knows who, or the local shopping centre where boredom leads to mischief.

They are best friends (boys 16 and 13) watch the same tv shows together, kick a football around in the garden and I take them swimming. This is how they want their summer to be (we have already been on holiday to Florida) chilled, filled with what they consider fun.