Teenage chat and interraction is hard work

[Fudgecakes]

I'm aware I'm probably the last person my teen dd wants to spend time with - but ffs, how hard can it be to have some chit-chat with yr mum?

Took dd out yesterday for an eyebrow shape and a coffee. Found her so hard to talk to...it felt like being in one of those toe curling episodes of The Undatables...long awkward silences, staring into space, all one sided from me desperately scrabbling for topics that were met with one word answers, eye rolling or the common teen response of a slightly aggressive "I don't know"

We're in that phase of 'parents get lost' and it makes me so sad. I don't get anything from her apart from attitude and I resent giving her my all with no return....not even the 'pleasure' of her company for a half hr coffee. It was plain she wanted to be anywhere else....yet she's all over me when she wants something. I feel really sad .

She just shuts herself away on her phone/listening to music/messing with hair or make up all day. She meets up with mates now and again, sleepovers etc....but she's checked out of family time completely. No TV with us, won't eat with us, excuses not to visit family ....yet she's nagging for a holiday but we've told her not booking anything til she's a nicer member of the family - she's really rude, self absorbed, confrontational, selfish and we just aren't rubbing along at all.

Are your teens similar? Have they checked out of your family? Do they come back?

Keep the lines of communication open if you can but that doesn't mean you should be a doormat.

Mine was pretty grumpy at that age, now at 16 we're emerging into genuine friends (of course I'm still ultimately in charge )

Just a thought, last year we all went abroad and I laid down the law before hand that no-one was taking any phones etc, she moaned - a lot, but I stood firm as I said I'd rather be unpopular with her in the interests of increased mental well-being. I wanted to get her away from Social media for a week.

She later admitted as annoyed as she was at the time she was glad as we had a fab holiday and a brilliant laugh together.

My DS is 15, hrs just like this. My DD is 17 she has not been like this, although has had the occasional teenage tantrum.

It is literally impossible to talk to him and so I do leave him. Occasionally he does want to talk and so I take the opportunity. But generally he finds me too annoying to even consider. It makes me sad but I haven’t been able to change anything. I am kind of sitting it out and waiting for him to mature. It is a massive challenge but I am not sure what else I can do. He has ADHD and is not at all biddable

My 13 yo can be like this, some days are better than others but she was really hard work over the holidays.

She's lost her phone for today as she was so rude to me Ystd.