Anyone else please!!!

[constipatedoverweightoldlady]

Feel that these teenage years are way harder than newborn/toddler and any other stage? It was starting to get easier, they were pleasant, a little more independent, my working life getting easier as i wasn't stressing re childcare and after school pick up's constantly.

I have a teen never wanting to leave the house and one never in it. Both on insta, Snapchat and YouTube. One fortnite obsessed. School holidays I'm sick of them been up while 1/2am on phones so have made them leave them on charge in kitchen from 11pm and it's the worst thing ever. I try to reason with them but their attitudes stink so I end up arguing with them and saying what I swore I'd never say "while your living under my roof you will do what I say"

I want them to have their freedom but I'm scared of them going off the rails. I don't want thwmnon SM/fortnite all time but I'm scared their mates will take piss of them when they aren't there after a certain time at night. I'm scared they will end up with MH problems. It's just all so hard knowing what the right thing is to do!!!

Obviously all their mates can stay out till whatever time, go on phones when they want etc etc (I realise this is probably not really the case but this is what they constantly throw at me). We work full time as we have to and I constantly feel guilty for that as well as they have been alone a lot of hols as spending time with grandparents is "boring" now according to them!
Sorry for the rant, would be nice to hear other people are in the same situation though

Hi didn’t want you to not get any response. Tbh my 15yo ds and 13yo dd could fit your description, he doesn’t get out much, she has a million friends and is always on sleepovers or parties at the moment. My main priority is maintaining a good relationship with them as, to my mind, without that they’ll totally ignore me and have no respect. To achieve this we all have to compromise on some things and my compromise is tech. During term time phones are downstairs at bedtime, but during the holidays I relax a bit and (full filters on) they can do what they like. After a few late nights (1-2), they tend to rein it in themselves.

I also make sure we have some nice meals out, cheapish pub meals etc, as that’s pretty much all they want to do with me atm, but we have fun, talk and laugh, and it’s not long enough for anyone to get bored or stressed.

I don’t know if I’m too soft or not soft enough, we can only do what we feel is right for our own families. I do enjoy being with my two though, and they’re growing into lovely people (in my biased opinion ). We may not have too many more summers together so I want to enjoy those that are left...

I have a similar problem, but mine are younger teens 11 and 12. The 12 DD can be trusted to be left on her own, get out of PJ's and not play on her phone ALL day. I work but only 3 days a week and they have had to spend time at Grandparents. Who have been fantastic and done lots and lots of sporty/adventurous activities with them. I get really upset though as when they get home they constantly moan about how they would much rather stay at home. (To play on constant tech no doubt). They will one day appreciate what others have done for them but makes me mad that they are so so ungrateful I too worry about MH and gadgets etc. DD 12 only just got a phone so think it's a novelty (here's hoping). She is already asking for Instagram - I have said no until she's 13. It is a hard line the 'not to exclude from friends/cool/crowd' but also protect from what we know can happens My kids just don't remember how to cope with boredom like we had to. It's all organised days out and activities. We just played in the woods and made dens!

• tweens not teens!

Ds(13) surprised me the other day when he asked to come for a walk with me with the dogs. Apart from wanting to go to cadets twice a week he basically lives in his room except when he comes down to hoover up food (or declare that’s there’s nothing up eat - while staring at a full cupboard)

I just posted this in holding on to the rope thread but realised it should really be here!

I’m not a regular poster but avid follower of the thread. Couldn’t go through this without getting your thoughts on how to prepare myself for what’s to come. Dd 17 thinks she might be pregnant. She went on holiday with a school friend and friends mum.. drank too much one night(she says she was spiked but after some investigation I think it was just too much alcohol) and her friend found her alone with a guy half dressed.. she doesn’t remember if they had sex or not! She’s only telling me all this now 3 weeks later because her period is late. She’s on the pill but we all know that’s no guarantee. I’ve bought a test and am sitting waiting for her to “need to pee” before she does it... she is putting it off big time, she’s pretty terrified.
I feel I know how I’ll handle it if the result is positive but don’t want to mess it up and make things worse so any advice on what I should do/say to her if it’s positive would be greatly appreciated... regardless of the result we’ll be going to the std clinic tomorrow but just want to get her through this before I land that one on her!

Really sorry constipated!! Didn’t mean to post on your thread.. on my phone and rushing.. pls ignore

I have a problem with my DD13 since the start of school holidays, out all the time with her friends, I do have a tracker app but who knows what she's up to and her attitude absolutely stinks, but like you say apparently all her friends do this gets thrown at me, feel like we've hardly seen her all summer as we both work full time, I'm at the end of my tether with her most of the time, I know this is the age where they want some independence but I feel it's too much, if her attitude wasn't awful I might not be worried so much but I really feel the kids in her friendship group are putting her under a massive amount of peer pressure, I can't do right from wrong at the moment, you're not alone on the teenage rollercoaster OP!

Constipated - mine is the same. Glued to phone 24/7. We have tried everything to stop this, but to no avail. I feel we have v little control (except over money -?which we do exert). Am sad - and yes, worried, but not sure there is much more I can do. Reasoning doesn’t work so an desperately hoping it’s a phase. I look at photos of dd aged 10 and younger and think ‘however did we get here’

We restrict our DD's time on the phone via the family link app.
There is a limit for daily usage and also a timer for bed time.
To be honest she isn't overly social (she is 12 and hasn't found her tribe yet).
She doesn't seem to complain at the moment and actually prefers us to regulate as she claims she has no self control!
Kids will moan and groan at almost everything but sometimes they do appreciate boundaries we set (although maybe no initially)
I am tempted to get a timer on my own and husband's phone usage too!!