Tears

[LifeIsGoodish]

What do you do when your 16yo dd wobbles, bursts into tears and runs out of the room? Generally no obvious trigger. Sometimes she's been fragile all day and flies off the handle easily. Sometimes she's been cheerful and affectionate. Sometimes all four!

Cup of tea?

Maybe over a relationship or fall out with a friend

Cup of tea and a cake (custard tarts work well here) with a chat. Results are due in guessing which could be a reason, or friends or boys...

If any of our 3 have an outburst we usually give them 5 minutes to calm down then go up with a cup of tea to check they're ok and ask if they want to have a chat about it.

Am currently sitting in silence on dd's bed. She has gone from curled up in a sobbing "don't touch me" ball to leaning back on me and looking at her phone. She's not talking.

I never know what to do. Part of me wants to wave a magic wand and make it all better. Part of me wants to shrug and say "teenagers - meh". And the middle bit wants to support her sorting whatever it is herself.

How is your dd

My dd was recently and uncharacteristically tearful one night which really worried me. As well as giving her a bit of space and time and going up for a bit of a chat and a cuddle, I did check her messages (as I've always told her I could) as I was really quite worried about her.
She was fine the next day and we decided it was effing hormones.
It was an uneasy night though, they do say you're only as happy as your unhappiest child!

The following morning she was back to herself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

How do you know when it's 'just' a teenage mood-swing, or when it's something serious?

Teenagers may be less physically exhausting than toddlers...but they make up for it emotionally.

I think you did the right thing. She has no idea any more than you have but you were there and still gave her space.

It will probably repeat, possibly many times. So long as it is 'just' hormones, you will get through it. Being there and making no demands shows her that you always have her back

I generally leave mine alone. I've tired going up to her room with a cup of tea and trying to chat but if she's in a tearful mood she won't want to talk and just tells me to go away. Instead I try to spend some nice time together the next day or some other time soon when she's in a better mood. If she's feeling chatty she may then tell me what was wrong previously, or sometimes she says she doesn't know what was wrong she just felt teary, or sometimes she won't mention it at all and we just talk about other things. My instinct is always to try and make it better at the time and I hate leaving her go to bed all upset. But it really does work better to leave her to it and chat another time I find.