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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD's 18th - how much to spend?

14 replies

ifonly4 · 27/07/2019 12:22

DD has her 18th birthday coming up, followed closely by going to uni. For uni, we'll need to pay for age id, buy a lightweight suitcase and a laptop (the latter two will be on the cheaper end of the scale). Maybe irrelevant to her birthday, but costs we have coming up for her.

Just wondering how much others have spent, what they've bought etc. Even what you think is fair for us to spend given the above.

OP posts:
mcmen71 · 27/07/2019 17:59

It all depends what you can afford and ask her what she wants within your budget.
For my dd 16th we went on or family holiday and upgraded her phone but I just bought a reconditioned phone to be within my budget.

Mrsjayy · 27/07/2019 18:04

Depends what they would like really ? One of mine got shoes and a ring another got an electric guitar. Put out feelers of what she would like and you can go from there . Do you have a maximum budget you would go too

Mrsjayy · 27/07/2019 18:06

My eldest was still in secondary for her 18th and some of them were getting cars so she was forwarnedGrin

WaxOnFeckOff · 29/07/2019 00:27

Absolutely depends on what you can afford. can you give the laptop and case for her birthday?

My eldest DS got a watch, a few personalised bits and bobs and some money. DS2 has his coming up soon and he'd like a guitar. Depends on how much it the one he wants is as to whether he'll get it completely from us or if he would need to contribute (he's already said he's happy to do this to get the one he wants). I'm just waiting on him to give a few examples of what he wants and then we'll talk budgets.

Sounds like money might be tight, so I'd definitly give the laptop and case for her birthday and if you can afford something else, then maybe something that would be a momento (nice photo and frame?) or just a bit of cash for her to go out with friends.

Pomegranatemolasses · 29/07/2019 00:32

Are all your uni expenses for her just suitcase, I’d and laptop? Surely there will be masses more to spend.
It’s all about your budget and managing her expectations really.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 29/07/2019 00:35

Dd had an engraved glass and a bottle of bubbly. And she and I went on a few days away to Athens as she is hugely into ancient history.

AlbertWinestein · 29/07/2019 00:40

If you can only afford for the uni things to be the present, then that’s what you can afford. It’s not going to be much fun reading a thread where people bought their kid cars, holidays, etc!

BackforGood · 29/07/2019 00:51

Depends on what you can afford, on what she wants, on what she needs, and on what expectations you have in the family. Some families generally spend under £20 on a present for birthdays and others spends £hundreds.
Would be odd to spend £30 on an 18th if you normally spend £150, but not so if you normally spend £15.

Also, if you are spending on a celebration for her - that needs to be factored in.
dc1 got a laptop from us, as his was broken and, like your dd, he was off to University.
dc2 wanted a party, but didn't want / need anything (like a laptop) so that's where her equivalent money went.
dd3 also prefers a party over a keepsake.

ifonly4 · 29/07/2019 15:02

Thanks for your replies. We need to start saving again, and I think DD would accept it if we told her laptop was her present. She's hopefully going into halls and luckily has extra bedding/personal effects, so don't have to worry about that.

I just feel like I'd like to give her something more special. She's said recently she could do with some earrings and/or necklace for evenings out, but BIL always likes to choose expensive jewellery himself for an 18th so a cheaper item from us won't compete (he's a bit domineering, so no point in trying to discuss what he gives her). She always chooses the same perfume to test in shops, which hopefully we could get cheaper if I shop around. Apparently she's told DH she'd like a photo album which could be as cheap or expensive as we like, but not sure special enough.

Other than a meal out with my DM, she won't have to pay for birthday celebrations. She's already planned to be abroad and no expectation of us conbributing - phew!

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 29/07/2019 15:24

I think an album sounds perfect. Or maybe two - one you could fill with photos and memories of her up to her 18th - maybe leave the last page blank for 18th photos? and then a blank one for her to start filling as an adult. Let BIL buy the flashy earrings and don't worry about it. Perfume would be nice if you can manage it :)

WaxOnFeckOff · 29/07/2019 15:25

She sounds like a lovely, well brought up girl btw.

VirginiaCreeper · 29/07/2019 15:57

I think what you spend on presents doesn't matter if you have a well brought up child who doesn't have expensive expectations.
A photo album filled with family photos is both a good 18th birthday present and a "going to uni" present. That and perfume would be fine IMO.
Mine are boys, one got a watch (under £100) and the other got a phone, again around the £100 mark.

aibutohavethisusername · 30/07/2019 14:55

My DD is 18 soon. I’m getting her a Pandora Charm (tree of life) and we have a day out planned. Brunch, swim at a fancy Lido and then dinner with family. I’ve just been looking at cakes.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 30/07/2019 14:59

My DS didn't go to uni so we got him a really nice dress watch and had it engraved. It's his most treasured person because DH passed away a few months afterwards. I think we paid about £400.

DH also bought him a car but that wasn't really a birthday present, more like his inheritance.

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