Teenagers

[robon]

Hi I'm a working single Mum of 7 and am feeling so overwhelmed with them all. The teenagers all have work for the summer as I have instilled a really strong work ethic in them and they are always offered jobs. However despite some of them earning more than me a week I cannot get them to contribute to the household. I have to get up each morning at 6.30 and get 5 of them to work in three different areas before going to work myself. I drop my two youngest off to my Mum when I'm not working. No matter how I try and go around this it ends up in an argument. I have been left with all the mortgage from our house though it was in both names and am really struggling with all the bills. I literally get paid on a Friday and its gone by Monday with bills and shopping as 5 of them are boys who are all playing competitive games. I've insured both older kids twins of 18 on my vehicle and though they said they'd pay it back ... nothing. I really feel like cancelling it. I'm exhausted. I run them all to their training and support them at all their matches but just feel so used and exhausted and am really too emotionally drained to try and reason with them. They do now buy there own clothes but they just splash now. One son just paid over 900 for a phone I could have cried .Anyone any help on how to handle this?

Get a standing order set up from their bank account to yours weekly for an amount or get them to buy and cook their own food.
Let them do their own laundry even get them to buy their own washing powder.
If they are on your insurance let them put petrol in car when they are using it.

My dd started working this week and I told her she could give me an amount each week to save for a school trip she has agreed to this and she will buy her own lunch out of wages and any social life she has will come out of her own money.

I never thought of the standing order. One of the boys only does his own laundry as he dosen't like it mixed with the others.Its hard on my own and they are good kids but the sense of entitlement is absurd.

Stop running them around. Turn off WiFi if they aren't contributing to cost. Don't buy/cook food for them if they aren't contributing. Etc. You're being a mug.

I think with 7 Dcs it’s no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed by it. Can you discuss with friends/mumsnetters a reasonable amount for working dcs to contribute? I would suggest between 10-50% of what they earn. Then they need to pay that to remain in your home and fed/watered/washed/wifi’ed. I think you could do worse than a family conference to iron this out.

My god you have got your hands full , I think you need to call a family meeting . Explain calmly how much you do for them , how much running around you do after them and that you feel upset/angry/ sad that by Monday you have not a penny to spend on yourself yet they can totally please themselves with what they buy and as they are adults they must see this is unfair. Explain how much board you want off each of them . If they can't contribute then stop doing so much for them when they ask for a lift say you can't afford the petrol. Teenagers are very frustrating but the longer it goes on the more stuck in their selfish ways they will be.