Issues with rent

[moreanimalsthanhumans]

Hi
Just will come out with it. Dd has decided to take a year out before going to uni.. and I think this is great as she has worked very hard for many years. She said she was going to work a lot, she has a pt job and plenty of offers of o/t and she wanted to do some travelling.. all great .Her dad has stopped the maintenance.. which again is fine and expected, so we discussed her paying rent... we came to a figure ..£30 per week which is about 30% of her take home.. all good
But then her dad chips in, says to her... not me.. that it's too much and I understand he is subbing her. I get that's his choice but I believe she needs to contribute and also, it's about a life lesson.. she won't have anywhere near as much free money when she is studying.. it's about learning to budget.. what do people think?

I would take the 30 pound but open up a bank account and save it for her when she goes to university.
Let her buy most of her own stuff clothes toiletries nights out.

I think that's a good idea. To save it. I used to pay about that I think- I def paid something

You're absolutely in the right. She's chosen to work for a year so of course she should pay for her keep.

Her dads a mug but that's fine - let him contribute if he wants to, you're still getting the same amount of money and she'll be better off.

DS is 19, living at home doing an apprenticeship on £12k a year and pays £30 a month. We worked out that that's about the cost of his share of food and bills so don't really call it rent, more a contribution to his own living costs. You can't really stop your DD's dad giving her money but you could encourage her to be saving that for uni, or any other plans she has for her gap year.

All very well her dad chipping in with criticism when he's stopped maintenance, gets to play the good guy with money handouts, all while you continue to put a furnished roof over her head, food in the fridge and actually support her.

I am with you, she has decided as an adult to take a year out, as an adult she needs to help fund that luxury. £30 in reality doesn't do that, it is a token amount and a lesson life isn't free. If daddy thinks it is too much then he can help subsidise it.

If you can afford to save it, it will only be £1500 for the year, use it to help you pay a small portion of your costs when she goes to uni. Not to hand over to her as a saving pot.

That sounds about right. I also agree that you should save it because it's quite possible you will be giving her that back (and more) once she is at Uni.

Thanks all... gonna look into saving some of it .. still narks me but it's true .. he is the mug . Didn't think about this when they were little!

I don’t think he’s a mug for giving his 19 year old some money. I think 30 a week is a lot when she is only earning £100 but if you really need the money it’s fair enough

DS is 19, living at home doing an apprenticeship on £12k a year and pays £30 a month. We worked out that that's about the cost of his share of food and bills

He's 19 and eats less than £30pm in food?!

No you're right, I got that wrong -£30 per week not per month!

I don't get this saving money for teenagers. Surely teaching financial management is just as important as all the other things parents teach their children in order to enable them to achieve independence?

If you need the money then take it and use it for her keep.
If you don't need the money then don't take it off her, instead teach her to save. Show her how to open a bank account and save it herself.
Her dad giving money is irrelevant.