would you go on a UK holiday and leave 16 yr old with her 20 year old sister?

[blueiris71]

so as not to drip feed, here are the facts:
We have a 20 year old (lives at home) a 16 year old and an 8 year old.
Our 16 year old has some anxiety and OCD which means she does a lot of hand washing and germ avoidance.
She didn't want to come on holiday with us last year but I insisted because she was 15 and too young to be left at home.
The holiday is in the UK and is for almost 2 weeks about a 3.5 hour drive from home. My Mum offered to stay here but dd said no and she doesn't want to go there either. She's happy to be with her big sister. I have no concerns about wild parties cos the mess/vomit etc would really trigger her OCD, so that wouldn't happen.
I can't really drag her into the car and make her go, but also not sure I'll enjoy holiday without her (as I'll worry about her)
If we don't go, we'll have lost over 2k plus our 8 year old will be devastated. It's the only holiday we have all year.
Would this be ok? She's stayed home alone for weekends before, when she's refused to come with us down the country to visit my Mum.
She's got a bank card and can get her own food, shopping and is not scared to be home alone.
It just feels a bit weird at her age.
(but then I had no holidays at all when I was growing up, so would've jumped at the chance)
Also, (in the interest of not drip feeding) her eldest sister is away for 3 nights at the start of the holiday, so she'd have the first few nights alone.

Sounds fine to me!

I'd do it. Sounds fine to me

I'd do it no problems. Have you got any local friends/neighbours who could pop by a couple of times to make sure she's doing ok?

I did that when I was 16, my sister was 19 and home from uni for the summer working so I was left to my own devices during the days. It was the last time I got to spend so long with my sister before our lives away from home began and it was was nice.
I'm sure your dd will be fine.

I'm not sure about the time home alone without her sister. My dsd is 17, she lives with her mum and brother. Her mum is abroad on holiday and her brother stayed at his gf house last night. She called this morning saying she didnt like it and didnt want to do it again. Beforehand she was full of bravado so you never know how she'll react in reality.

I have done - olders sister has own life so often out overnight, 16 year old loved it. She had friends over, but never more than one or two at a time, she is desperate for us to go away again & leave her by herself!

I would think it was fine. I was left home alone (no older sibling) for a few weeks at 16 and it was fine. Especially as you are in the UK and can call her or her call you with no problems.

I think she’ll be fine if she’s happy but why don’t you insist your mum stays while her sister is away? Then she’ll never be left completely alone.
If you’re going to do it you need to be happy enough to enjoy your holiday too. You can face time her and be in tough daily so I’m sure it will be fine.

I was 100% do it till you said she would be alone for 3 nights. How does she feel about that? X

Sorry for the kids, have just texted my daughter

You're asking whether two adults can be left at home together. Even if your 16-year-old has some anxieties and phobias, she is still (from what you've said) a perfectly intelligent, competent, normal young woman. I honestly don't see what you have to worry about.
I think you should just go and have your holiday. It will be fine.

Its fine! I did a week by myself when i was 17. Its old enough not to need ur mum there.

I think it's fine but I would ask your mum to stay with her while the oldest is away.

It's fine as long as your mum is on standby for the first three nights just incase she feels lonely/scared after all and you don't want calls from her fretting and making you wish you hadn't

I wouldn't leave her alone for three nights. I also think she's laying down the law too much, won't go on holidays, won't stay in your mum's and won't allow your mum to stay.
I'd offer a compromise you're comfortable with and let her choose from those.

The only thing holding me back from saying 'it's fine, go without her' is the OCD. I don't know how ill she is so only you can judge whether she would be ok.

I wouldn't leave mine at that age with mental health problems tbh, not for almost 2 weeks. Everyone will say 'she is 16, she can join the army/get married/I left home and had 3 sets of twins by then' but the truth is you have a 16 year old who already has problems and maybe she just won't be ok inwardly.

I am leaving my just 17 yr old ds on his own for 4 nights as he doesn't want to come on holiday. He has depression and aniexty but is confident he will be ok. We are going to be about 3 hours away but will keep in contact with him.
Not sure I would want to go for more than a week but you won't know until you try it.

Just go, she will be fine. Worst case scenario you're only four hours away and can leave pretty much immediately. Some day trips are further away than that!

KISS! It’s the kiss I’m apologising for

Totally agree with Deemail - at 16 yrs she should be able to make some choices - - but not all of them! I would have granny to stay for the first three nights.

Did she enjoy the holiday with you all last year once you had persuaded her to go with you all? If so, I might still insist on her going - particularly if you could give her some choice over the activities you are going to be doing.

The reason I say that btw is that I have a daughter with anxiety issues and although it is sometimes hard work persuading her to get out and about , it is much better for her than staying at home, spending a lot of time on her phone , becoming more inward looking ifyswim.