Help me out MN!

[countryroadstakemeh0me]

I've got back into the back and forth of when to come home with my 12 year old, he's been wanting to come in at 9 as 'all his mates are still out' but I'm strong at 8:15.

Mumsnet, when do your 12/13 year olds come in back home?

My 13 year old coming home at 5pm on school days. What do they do at outside until 9pm?

My 13 year old is home by 6 and 15 year old home by 7:30 unless they are at friends when I will pick them up later. I will not have them roaming the streets - we have a small field at the rear of our house and can have teens out there gone 11pm - where on earth do their parents think they are ????

My 13 yo (just turned) comes in at 8pm mon-fri. Later at weekend depending what he's doing. It's holiday break next week so it will be changed but I'm going with while it's light and depending on whose he's with and what he's doing. He has been known to stay out till 11pm as long as I know he's safe

@CIT80 that seems a little extreme?

I would be fine with 9pm.

Can't remember the summer when he was 12 but at 13 ds and friends were allowed out until 9 during light summer evenings at holidays/weekends. School nights earlier.

They would go out on their bikes to friends houses (I regularly had 1/2 dozen bikes outside my house), into town for something to eat and meet up at parks and football pitches and kick a ball around for hours. They would get buses into town for the fun swim, then go to mcds at 9pm and call for a lift home. Or get a bus into town to meet friends and go to cinema or a friends house. But mostly various fields or astro to just play football and have a laugh with friends.

It all depends where you live, we are in a small/medium sized town in Scotland and kids are allowed/encouraged to be independent. There is nothing wrong with teenagers being out if you know what they are up to (we had a network of mums and would keep each other up to date with their movements, would pop out in our cars to see they were where they said they would be and they never once let us down), I can't imagine ds being cooped up every night from 5/6pm.

They are all 15 now and still go out to play football until late at least 2-3 times a week now we are in the holidays (when it isn't raining too much!). The pitches around town are all far enough away from housing when they are playing they don't disturb residents. There are a small minority of kids in their year starting to experiment with drink (no drugs that he is aware of yet) but although friendly in school ds's group of friends know where they hang out and avoid them as they thankfully aren't interested.

Thanks for the input! For context (sorry for not making it clear) he usually comes home from school at 4 and goes until that time about 4:45 sorry for not making it fully clear!

And also @BrokenWing we live in a medium sized dare I say 'lower class' city, however they seem to only go into certain areas at certain times.

@DidUReallyJustSayThat what is extreme about it ? They are able to stay out later if they are out for food or at the cinema at a friends, at a party etc, their friends are always welcome at our house but I don’t want them out just roaming the streets till all hours.

I too think it depends what they are doing.
e.g.
Skateboarding / football in the park - fine
At someone's house xboxxing - fine
Wandering round the streets - not fine
Hanging around a park being loud and obnoxious - not fine

Depends what doing. My 13 year old was out last summer and had to be home by 8.30pm time. I think 9pm would be latest as starts to get dark soon after. Id want to know where he was though.

NB To add he was at a leisure centre playing football usually or a skate park. Id not want wandering the streets etc

How many kids actually aimlessly "wander the streets", they are usually on their way somewhere. I'm an adult and sometimes hang about the park in the evening just to enjoy the fresh air and company of dh or a friend, why can't teens who are behaving (albeit a little noisier than adults, which is understandable as they are children still and having fun) do the same?

It is not so much where they are, it's whether you trust their behaviour when they get there. Mine have never given me any reason to doubt their behaviour so I don't inflict unreasonable curfews on them.

Both my DC 13 and 15 were at a local park till 10pm last weekend. Came home cos they were hungry. They were playing football and I knew exactly where they were. If I ever found out there were behaving anti-socially they wouldn't be allowed out late again or to hang out in those places. Got to let kids be kids in this day and age. The only "wandering the streets" they do late is to get home!