Right I’ll try and give the back story as briefly as possible.
Daughter nearly 14 in year 8. Has been suffering with mental health for a couple of years, depression and self harming (which I believe has stopped) Angry outbursts, low moods etc. Sometimes it’s difficult to differentiate between the depression and normal teenage stuff.
She’s having ipt therapy with CAMHS she had a brief period where she seemed better but has gone downhill again.
She’s not constantly unhappy, or at least doesn’t look and act if. Has a laugh with friends ect. We’re not getting on, her and her sibling argue non stop too. I probably need to look at trying to fix our relationship a bit as it’s a bit fractured and I think she feels jealous of sibling but she does generally feel like she can talk to me.
She went a bit off the rails last year, wasn’t coming home from school, done a couple of over night disappearing acts where I had to call the police. This year has been better.
So that’s the backstory, thank you if you’ve got this far. So, she has a boyfriend, same age,been together 8 months. She’s quite emotionally dependant on him, says he’s the only thing in her life that makes her happy. He’s a nice by from a nice family. We’ve spoke about sex, she said she doesn’t want to and she’s too scared. There’s been rumours at school, I’ve spoken to school and all involved thinks they’re just rumours.
Anyway, I’ve jist seen messages on her phone that suggests they have attempted to have sex before, and are planning to again. Also talks of blow jobs. Messages were distressing for me to read.
My question is, what the hell do I do? Do I tell her she can’t see him and risk her hating me more, running away, becoming more depressed or self harming, or basically come to terms with the fact if they really want to they will, and just arm her with all the information about self worth and contraception etc and hope she makes the right decision. Every part of me wants to ground her for life. She’s not emotionally ready for sex.