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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Bedtime for your 15 yr old in the holidays & importantly how do you enforce it

40 replies

SoTiredNeedHoliday · 01/07/2019 13:58

I really struggle with this and in previous holidays have just ended up leaving him up as he refuses to sleep prior to midnight. Often awake still at 2 or 3 am.....
Up at about 12 next day.

I can't stand it.

OP posts:
lalahotpants · 01/07/2019 15:57

My 10 year old didn't get up till 11.45 today! First day off school holidays and my first day of annual leave, was bliss! Although the 19 year old was up at crack of dawn for work!

sleepyhead · 01/07/2019 16:01

My 12 year old gets sent to his room around 9.30 in the holidays unless there's something we're doing or watching together, but I don't mind him pottering or reading until later - I don't really police it except for no screens.

He doesn't sleep particularly late (younger brother puts paid to that for all of us) but again, I wouldn't be too bothered. I was queen of the stay-awake-all-night, sleep-all-day as a teen..

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 01/07/2019 16:06

I also want to know why you "struggle" with this? Does he disturb you at nighttime. That's not acceptable obviously, but otherwise I couldn't care as long my DC are rested and fed and behaving themselves otherwise.

Original poster
SoTiredNeedHoliday · 01/07/2019 16:21

thanks all. I know its a normal thing that they enter a different body clock zone for a few years.
I don't mind him sleeping in as many have said they are up early working hard in term time.

i do mind him up till 2/3am its not very social and I guess i miss the interaction (which is also a normal thing that they don't want to communicate with parents much).

Also he leaves the living and kitchen in such a terrible state after I have cleaned it all before bedtime. Not particularly respectful in my opinion.

It is very difficult to wake him if we need to go somewhere or do something

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 01/07/2019 16:22

Mine are slightly younger at 13/14, but I have no set bedtime in the holidays, but capped at when DH and I go to bed, so around 10.30/11ish. One of them tends to go to bed earlier (9.30-10 ish) and gets up usually by about 9am. The other one goes to bed when we nudge him upstairs, but sleeps til 11-12 ish.

I'm not sure at what age I'd be comfortable letting them stay up long after we've gone to bed. I think by the age that I'd be happy for that (16+) they will probably have part time jobs and other commitments that mean they can't anyway!

MoobaaMoobaa · 01/07/2019 16:23

as a pp said, I think there was a study about teenagers sleep cycles, and its mire natural for them to be awake later. I also thought they need more sleep too.

DS16 hasn't had holiday bedtime for years.
its no stress, if we need him up the next day for something he'll be up, same if he has plans he'll get up, other than that he'll be up whenever.

He has sometimes worked all night (computer related) and was just going to bed as I was getting up at 5.30am to go to work.

today I've come home from work he's been up 2 and half hours and done a load of washing and hung it out and filled the dishwasher.

just let them be they have a whole lifetime of "having to be up' ahead of them.

MoobaaMoobaa · 01/07/2019 16:27

x post

Also he leaves the living and kitchen in such a terrible state after I have cleaned it all before bedtime. Not particularly respectful in my opinion

That's a different issue though, tackle that the same you would if you walked in from work and find it.

Sicario · 01/07/2019 16:29

Leave him to it, but do make sure you are using all the right parental controls on your internet hub. You might (if you have a chance) check his browsing history. And if you're not tech savvy, find someone who is, or learn!

cdtaylornats · 01/07/2019 16:41

I used to go to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning. My problem was my Dad - he got up at 4, got bored by 5 and brought me coffee.

sotired2 · 01/07/2019 16:43

more important things to get annoyed about so long as he doesnt disturb me in hols just let dc go to bed and wake up when they wont.

Baritriwsahys · 01/07/2019 17:49

i do mind him up till 2/3am its not very social and I guess i miss the interaction

Is that because you work shifts and are only around in the morning?

Also he leaves the living and kitchen in such a terrible state after I have cleaned it all before bedtime.

The answer is not making him go to bed earlier. It is teaching him to be more respectful.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 01/07/2019 18:00

Focus on the mess in the kitchen and switch off internet at 12
Pick your battles messing up your clean kitchen is way worse than sleeping

Caspianberg · 01/07/2019 18:08

I wouldn't set a bedtime at that age. However if nothing is getting done, I would say they need to be up and ready by 10am. they can decide how much sleep they need based on that.

The kitchen, just tell him it needs to be tidied as he goes. no leaving mess at any time

sleepyhead · 01/07/2019 18:53

The next time he leaves the kitchen in a mess I'd get him up to clean it as soon as you see it whether that's 4 hours after he went to bed or not.

That's not on, but it's got nothing to do with bedtimes.

Original poster
SoTiredNeedHoliday · 02/07/2019 07:37

Thanks all! Very helpful comments.

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