Unreasonable difficult teenage son!

10 replies

chinagirl41 · 01/07/2019 08:04

I have a situation that I really can not deal with, we have a caravan in Wales a really lovely popular town and a 15 who just point blank refuses to go. My husband works very hard and is looking forward to a break over the summer. We have suggested my son gets a part time summer job (of which there are plenty) while we are there giving him the opportunity to mix and make friends. Every time we try to discuss it it turns into trouble my son will not listen to us and just says I am not coming I will stay home, this is not an option. This is one of many issues we have with him, all he does at home is sit in his room and play/chat on his phone so getting up and out for the summer I know will do him good. Any advice would be gratefully accepted. Thanks if you are reading this x

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/07/2019 08:06

Can he take a friend?
How long are you going for?
Unfortunately this is the age when they don't want to be holidaying with parents, and friends become more important.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/07/2019 08:06

I agree he's too young to stay at home alone though.

BillywilliamV · 01/07/2019 08:11

Turn off the internet, stop any pocket money...and then buy a flak jacket.
My 15yo is a bitch at the moment and these are the only things that get through. Expect to have your holiday pretty well ruined if you do take him though.

Original poster

chinagirl41 · 01/07/2019 08:59

The options we have are spending most of the summer holidays at home watching him sitting on his phone maybe going out with his mates for a couple of hours hanging around the streets doing nothing, fighting with him about the amount of time he is doing nothing trying to get his phone off him to do nothing but be even more bored! Or as we see it coming to Abersoch getting a part time job making friends there, being out in the sunshine meeting up with friends he knows there. Living rather than growing in his room. I find it very very frustrating.

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Original poster

chinagirl41 · 01/07/2019 09:01

We have said to bring a friend but his answer to that is why would anyone want to come with US!

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azaleanth90 · 01/07/2019 09:25

Similar problems here and mine is two years younger! Is your sense that he really thinks he will win this one, or is it that when he says 'I won't' he really means 'I don't want to'? What would happen if you said there was no choice and if he made it difficult you'd be cutting off his phone contract/allowance, but if he complies you can come back a bit earlier so he can loll about at home?

Original poster

chinagirl41 · 01/07/2019 09:39

He thinks he will win but I won’t let him dictate to how we spend the summer, I was feeling guilty about dragging him away from his friends but after a few months of nicer weather and all he does is sit in his room on his phone I can’t just give in. I have said a similar thing about cutting his privileges... it just drives me mad how he can not see the better choice. It would do him good to get him self up and moving and do a bit of work. I do speak to him but nothing seems to sink into his head. I keep telling myself his brain is developing and I have to go with the flow but bloomin heck it’s a very tough one!

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mbosnz · 01/07/2019 12:22

Hmmm.

I wouldn't be fighting with him about it, it gives him the impression he's got options here. I would be saying to him, well, your phone is going to Wales, if you want your phone, you'll be coming too.

VioletCharlotte · 01/07/2019 12:25

Are you planning to go for the whole summer? If so, I don't think you're really being fair. 15 year olds often find it incredibly hard to go odds and meet new friends, particularly by themselves. My DS would have hated this too.

Seeline · 01/07/2019 12:33

You seem to be talking about more than just a standard 2 week break. If so, I can understand why a 15 yo would be unwilling to participate! He may not spend much time with his friends, but presumably at the moment he is still seeing them at school? The long summer break without being able to come and go and see friends when he wants is a bit unreasonable.

It takes time to make friends at that age - and if you are suggesting he gets a job, he won't have time for much of a social life anyway (are there really that many jobs for 15yo that aren't slave labour). It's not much of a break for him either - will he be going back to his GSCE year?

Two week holiday - he needs to suck it up.
Most of the summer break - you are being unreasonable

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