Just found out DD16 has been raped - what do I do?

[confusedduck]

Name changed for privacy. DD is away at a summer camp and I was clearing out some of her room, she's written in a notebook about being raped last year and i'm in total shock.

I don't think she'd lie about it but I didn't notice anything, I feel awful for not noticing anything happening or changing and that she didn't come and talk to me.

I don't know how to bring it up to her, she'll think it's an invasion of privacy that I read her notebook. I wasn't thinking about it at the time, just idly opened it as was clearing out bookshelf!!

Any advice on what to do, how to bring it up, what to say would be so helpful.

No advice really but

As someone who's been raped, I ask please don't push her for information.

Oh Op, I've no idea how you would approach that conversation but would suggest being honest with her - you weren't snooping, just took a look and are now concerned for her and want to make sure she is ok. Good luck and for you too.

You do absolutely nothing OP. Nothing at all. Your daughter will tell you if and when she is ready to do so and until that point you keep quiet.

I think you need to wait until she is ready to talk about it

It must have been so tough to read. I never shared, or wanted to share my own experience with my mum. Does her book give any idea if she has support from friends or maybe used rape crisis and how she is coping? If she has I would respect her decision to keep it from you.

My foster daughter was raped when in my care. she came home acting normal took 4 years to tell me, please don’t blame yourself and agonise over what you could/should have done.
Get some advice from rape crisis
She needs to feel in control , not pressured, may need std check up ( google it) chlamydia can be done by post at home and even if she goes to a clinic they leave you in a room to swab yourself so not an embarrassing pelvic examination
So sorry this has happened xxxx

Thank you everyone, i think i'm over the shock a little bit.

I don't know whether to approach her about it, i want to offer her support but clearly she doesn't want it from me so maybe better to leave her until she tells me, if she does.

It's just an account of the experience she's written. I know the boy involved and it makes me so angry and sad for her

I assume some of her friends know but she said she couldn't get help or advice because they'd tell me.

Just heartbroken. I want to offer help but I think it'll be better to leave it and just make clear that if she wants to speak to me about anything at all i'm here.

I don't know whether to approach her about it,

Absolutely not. You would have to admit to snooping and then she will never trust you.

Don't take it personally that she hasn't told you. It took me four years to tell my mum and I absolutely worship the ground she walks on!

💐