Is my 15 y/o's behaviour normal

[IOWMCR]

My son is 15 and last year we relocated and he asked to stay at his school and with his Nanna in term time. He has a full scholarship to an independent school so i didnt want to take that opportunity away so i gave him the choice. He is now refusing to come home to me for more than 2 weeks in the summer as he wants to be with g/f and friends. His Nanna is also going away for a few days and last time she was away he threw a party (40 kids) we got wind of it at the last minute so arranged for an adult to supervise as cancelling and contacting everyone wasnt possible at late notice. Then on another occasion when his nanna was away and he was with us he gave his friend the key to her house and the friend entertained his gf at nannas house. It was only found out when someone came in to feed the cat and found a random teen in my sons room. He also told us one day bold as brass that he had tried weed, just once but he had tried it. Now i have always told my kids they can tell me anything but my partner (female no bio kids) was furious.
Apart from the above he is a grade a student, he is smart and sporty and popular and his behavior 9 times/10 is great. But my partner wants me to crack down on him,, insist he comes against his will in the summer, impose sanctions and sees the overall picture as an out of control teen. Is he out of control? Am i blinded by love for my child? Or is he pushing normal boundaries and what can i do to put boundaries in place, particularly around him spending time with us when i am 300 miles away

Why on earth did you relocate at such a crucial time in his life?

Either way, YABU to imagine he'd want to leave all his friends...of course he doesn't.

He obviously feels safe at his Nan's now. I think you made a mistake in moving.

This party - did his grandmother know about it? Did she agree to it? If not then how come it went ahead, with or without adult supervision? And does his grandmother know he gave out her key while no-one was there?

I get the impression that your DS is seriously taking the piss out of his grandmother... and that you are letting him.

I’d say you need to take time off and go and supervise. He, not unreasonably, wants to be with his mates, which is ok.
However, he’s taking advantage of his nana’s hospitality. He isn’t just pushing boundaries IMO, he flattening them without consequences.

Agree with pp, it was an odd decision to move away at such a crucial point. Can he do two weeks with you, and you spend two weeks at his? That leaves two weeks for his nana to supervise. Is he getting a summer job to keep himself out of trouble?

Bringing him own for the summer as punishment will make you and him miserable.
You moved away, and he stayed behind. Its his summer and he wants to spend the holiday with his friends. Completely normal and reasonable. Why should he go somewhere where he knows know one in his main break before GCSEs.
The big issue is supervision. If his nan is away, he can't be left alone (he's shown that). So he needs to come home for that time (the 2 weeks he's compromised as being away from friends) or a parent needs to go there and supervise.

He sounds like a normal twat of a teenage boy, if he's otherwise OK, doing well in school, not doing dangerous things, he need supervision and reasonable boundaries not a crack down.

You, also possibly need to work on your relationship with him. Whatever your reasons for moving, he will be seeing it as abandonment.

Bringing him home against his will for a crack down will spiral things. He will escalate, and your relationship will worsen.

Support him, support his nan and find middle ground.

Why can't you go and spend time with him when the nana away.
Teen want to be with their friends and will hate you if you try and stop them.

I agree with negomi - he sounds like he’s managing pretty well with life in general but he needs to be way more respectful of his Nanna if he’s to maintain his place there. If you can find a non punitive way to spend time with him (maybe even just you and him) that might be enough. My mum moved away when I was a year or so older and offered me the choice to go with her - I said no and didn’t even have many close friendships as had just started a new college, it was more that I was pretty pissed off about her doing it at that time.