Name changed as would hate to out my DS.
He's 14 and over last 18 months has been getting in constant trouble at school.
Now in Y9. Prior to this year had never been in trouble of any kind. In fact had a couple of leadership positions at hi prior school. He's always been popular with teachers and pupils. He's only just hitting puberty... small for his age and only just beginning to mature physically.
He started a new school in sept and weekly boards. (His choice because for a variety of reasons he v much wanted to go to this particular school). Enjoys it but seems to have no filter of any kind and is in constant trouble. Messing around in lessons, caught with a vape which he bought and brought into school, messing around on a school trip (making a nuisance with a group of other boys - one boy got banned from future trips, DS and others got warning). His decision making is absolutely crap. He seems to have no concept of how annoying he is being in lessons or how stupid it is to break school rules.
School are being supportive but also we recognise they can't give him endless chances . He's had detention for some stuff and suspension (for the vape). Won't be allowed in next school trip unless shows more maturity. (But have given him chance to redeem himself).
Nothing but support from us on school punishments. (But school have also recommended not being too hard on him as important to encourage and guide him).
At home he's more withdrawn and moody than a year ago and we've had lies about what he's doing/where going (without asking us - so not that we'd said no!) and found cigarettes in his room.
Finding this all v v hard.
Each time it happens we discuss and there are consequences (not going out or losing electronics etc) Have stopped his (small) allowance in last few weeks. If he wants any money he'll have to ask for it.
With summer holidays approaching, don't know what to do with him. It's a long holiday and too much time for him to get Ito trouble. He's going to want to meet friends, go to parties etc and just seems like too much freedom (don't know friends from new school.). Also feel like he needs some help to understand how lucky and privileged he is. I wish he could work on a farm or building site doing some hard labour and get some perspective. Or work on a soup kitchen.
Anyone been here and give me some advice on how to handle?