My son (14) keeps stealing from us

[Pearlofthesea]

I have suspected for a while my son is stealing money from us. I have set a couple of ‘traps’ to confirm (leaving money lying around then some has gone missing when he is the only one who could have taken it). I also left £5 in coins in my car by the gear stick, he asked for my car keys as he said he’d left his phone in my car, then later on I checked and the money had gone.

When I confront him he denies it. I tell him I know he’s lying and he still denies it.

Not sure what consequences to issue or how to handle this - anyone have any experience?

Does he get pocket money? What do you think he is using the money for?

I've been having this exact problem with my 14 year old. Denial, shouting matches, trying to blame his younger brother etc etc. Caught him out one day and it transpired he lost his cash card a few months back and hasn't wanted to tell us and didn't know how to deal with it. We sorted the cash card and I made him give me £50 (which was far less than he's taken) to share between his siblings. I explained this was because all my money is spent on them so when he took it, it was them who lost out. We haven't had any problems since.

Any idea what he's using it for, does he have pocket money?

I would rule out firstly bullying, then buying stuff for other kids to make friends. Then come down on him like a ton of bricks.

Buy one of those lockable cash tins that can fit cash and your wallet in. Keep the car locked. This has worked for me.

He gets money for good behaviour because he’s struggling with school (often skipping school as he can’t concentrate- I suspect he has ADHD)

I’ve tried all the normal things like taking his stuff and turning off WiFi

I suspect he’s buying weed which upsets me greatly as we caught him a few months back. Stopped all his privileges and money- then there was an incident where he owed his ‘mate’ money (only £10) and he demanded I pay it (I did but told him I wouldn’t again- he said it was debt for a ‘10 bag).

Every time we find he’s done something bad like this we stop all his privileges, he apologises and promises not to do it again- then we find he’s doing the same thing but being sneaky and lying about everything. I’m so disappointed- 😐

Not helpful but its probably for weed,fags,booze or all 3.I say that as a previous teenager who did the same.Something im very ashamed of.

Chihuahua- yes I’m sure you’re right - probably weed and tobacco, he seems against alcohol as it’s ‘really bad’ where as according to him weed is fine because it’s ‘not a drug’ apparently- ‘it’s a plant so it’s fine’ he’s such a dumbass 😡