Refusing to go to bed

[reytmardy]

Had a rubbish evening with D's(12) he's refused to go to bed and he's been very defiant. I'm shattered and I know he will be really tired tomorrow. I've changed the Sky PIN through the App but he's currently watching Disney channel, as he'd already switched it on. He will shout and neighbours in bed so not making a fuss tonight

Unplug the skybox.
Take the choice to deal with it even if he shouts.
You are the adult he is 12. He is taking the piss out of you.
It won’t be easy but dealing with a 12 year old now will be better than leaving it till he is 15/16

Are you home alone?

Chop the plug off. Very effective ime...
Be the adult op. Or life will be very difficult for you at 15/16.

If you don’t want to tackle it tonight remove the sky box from the house when he is at school tomorrow and explain it will go for 24 hours each time he is disrespectful

I would usually advocate taking the Sky box away now, but given that it will just escalate, leave him to it, let him suffer the consequences tomorrow and remove all devices when he's at school. Take them to someone else's house so he can't get them back.

@reytmardy how did it go last night?

Hope you are ok.

He went upstairs and curled up in a ball. He's been acting so odd since had a growth spurt/acne etc. Maybe hormones? He always goes up by bed by 9.00

Agree with Walkamile, its only going to become harder when he becomes a teenager. When ds was a preteen we made sure we kept to bedtime rules, no screens (apart from TV downstairs with us) an hour before bed, lights out bedtime was always at least 9 hours before he was due to get up.

We are a bit more flexible now he is 15 but in general it is still off screens an hour before bed (sometimes slips by a few mins if he is in the middle of a games) and 8-9 hours sleep.

Get into good pre bed habits, especially mid week and keep it consistent when they are preteen and they accept it before the teenage years hit. If TV or screens in the bedroom are an issue remove them. I would not leave them to the consequences themselves at 12, they care more about showing their friends they are still online late than falling asleep in chemistry.

As he is only 12 you might be better on the preteen board for tips.

My dc have had it drummed into them good school results depends on plenty of sleep.
Ds 15 has ME so it's tough going as it is but ds 17 is in bed before me on college days!!

Hmmm. If he is acting very odd, I am wondering if there is more going on. 12 is early to start this sort of defiance. Try and find out what is going on. Why is he trying to find an escape in watching TV? Is he happy in school? Has he got good relationships with teachers? friends? school results? sports? If he is difficult to talk to talk in generic terms. I read this thing about 'freezing out' (from social media), this is my opinion. And try a variety of other things. My 14 y/o son only gets this bad when he is very angry and upset about something at school.

Had a relook at your post op...
Has he watched something scarey /inappropriate recently? Disney at 12 is not common ime! Can you check his tech? At 12 my exh gave my dc freedom to watch totally awful stuff!! Ask him outright. Maybe he is genuinely scared to go to sleep!