Veganism

[AmaryllisDoesPottery]

I am a strong believer that veganism is a great way to live your life with its many health and environmental benefits. Sadly my DS doesn't have the same views and it means that he barely touches the meals I make, instead sneaking off to his friend's house to eat meat and other unhealthy foods. Not only do I fear for his health, but I also think his rebellion could be a sign of something deeper - perhaps reflective of other problems in his life? I worry that it could be and I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? Thanks

If your child is a teenager then surely he can make up his mind what sort of foods he wants to eat. I'm sure there are lots of healthy non vegan people out there so why are you fearing for his health?

I don't think you can really dictate to a teenager or anyone what the can eat in terms of lifestyle choices.
I'm sure his health is fine and many people are healthy on a diet consisting of meat and dairy.
You can not have it in the house but you can't control what happens outside of it.

How old is he OP?

could be as simple as he's hungry. for normal food. he's a growing boy after all.
I think veganism is extreme. No problem with adults who choose this lifestyle, but he's a teenager. What does he eat at school?

Thanks for the advice - maybe veganism is a bit too much at his age - he is only fourteen after all. Have any of you had similar experiences.

I brought up both my daughters as vegetarians, which of course I was myself. This was a long time ago. Now - the oldest eats meat, the younger eats fish, and I eat both. We're all healthy, and to be honest, I'm much healthier than I was when I was veggie. I was also vegan for a short time, couple of years, about thirty years ago. It wasn't good for me. I'd say if he wants meat let him eat meat, you'll have no control over what he chooses in a couple of years anyway, and if he wants meat now he's only going to be cross with you restricting him.

Perhaps look at it slightly differently
You are dictating an extreme lifestyle choice on a teenager (although there may be some benefits to that lifestyle it is in U.K. society an extreme viewpoint from the norm) , at a point where it's normal for them to make their own choices in life. They don't necessarily agree with you and are acting accordingly.
The health advantages of a vegan diet over a generally well balanced diet can be selective and although there are some ethical benefits it's not a black and white argument.
I think that you can provide them with a vegan homelife but it's entirely normal for them to react against it outside of the home. It would also be normal to ask them why, they don't agree and have a discourse about but don't expect them to necessarily agree with everything you think. Teenagers try all sorts of things, as they try to find their place in the world and as long as it's not proven to be dangerous (I don't agree with your argument on health) , let them explore and make their decisions. They may come full circle back to your viewpoint or they my pick me choose which bits suit them.

If you were the omnivore and your teen decided to go vegan, would you respect his choice and cook vegan meals for him (or teach him to cook for himself...) or would you wonder if some big problem in his life not at all related to food was making him go and eat in his vegan friends' homes?

You are dealing with a growing boy who is most likely ravenous and would be even if he ate six lbs of meat and potatoes a day.

If you can't bring yourself to prepare dishes that he would enjoy and that his friends' parents are providing for him, then at least buy the ingredients and teach him to cook for himself and clean up after himself. He could batch cook if cooking every evening would put too much strain on his social life or his homework commitments.

(I hope you are not simply complaining at him for eating elsewhere and have taught him that he needs to offer to help whoever it is who is cooking for him and cleaning up afterwards.)

'meat and other unhealthy foods' is a worrying condemnation of something that is actually fine as a diet for humans. Unless he is eating McDonalds crap every day I think you should adopt a more practical approach, along these lines:
My child is hungry and going elsewhere for food. Maybe some adamant and too often expressed opinions of mine have driven a wedge between us. Maybe I should feed him food that is not my preference but is not inherently unhealthy instead of letting his friends' parents shoulder that responsibility and cost?

My daughter is 14 and has been a vegetarian since she was 5. She's the only vegi in the house but I've always respected her choice and accommodated it. I wouldn't make her eat meat and I guess you can't make your son be a vegan....

I don’t blame him, he’s probably starving. I was actually brought up veggie with the occasional bit of fish(!) but I started eating meat as a teen, all teens rebel but I don’t think that’s even the case w your DS. Mine is a similar age and eats shedloads. We don’t eat a lot of meat but he always gets meat when he goes out.

I think at 14 he is old enough to make his own decisions about what he wants to eat. You need to respect his choices, as he should respect yours.

Not only do I fear for his health, but I also think his rebellion could be a sign of something deeper

^ Chill our and let him have a burger once in a while...jeez

He’s a teenager, he can make his own decisions