Reading festival after gsce's

[Linneasweet]

Hi all, my daughter aged 16 in the autumn would like to go to reading festival with a quite large group of friends after her gsce's next summer. Without sounding smug, the girls are all good girls: very studious, no drinking, no smoking and not particularly interested in boys. Would you allow your daughter, then shortly to be 17 and just finished her gsce's to go to reading festival without parents supervision? We live in London if that makes any difference so not hundreds of miles away. I normally quite a liberal mum and would like her to be independent, probably more than most, but even I feel a bit apprehensive. Do I have a reason to be or should I trust them?

At the same age, I didn’t let my DS go, but in retrospect I think it would’ve been fine. A lot of his close friends went and all had a great time. Equally, there were friends that didn’t go so he wasn’t the only one at home!
He later went at the end of year 12 and had a great time. Came home with everything he took with him, and slept for about 18 hours straight!
They camped away from the stages and not in the main walkways and all their stuff was fine. No broken tents, and nothing was stolen.
He took a bumbag which he wore 24x7 and kept his phone and cash in there.
Overall, I’d say he is a pretty sensible teenager, so like your DD in that regard.

In some schools, going to Reading or Leeds after GCSE results has become a bit of a rite of passage. We didn't let DS1 go after Y11 as his health had been too unstable, but he went after Y12 and Y13 and intends to go this year if he can earn enough money in time

Two things to bear in mind:

1. Is she going to need to pick up her GCSE results in person? Most people go on the Wednesday, so by Thursday afternoon the best areas are fully pitched up. There is a way around this: DS1 went in a group of mixed school years; the ones from the year above went on the Wednesday with the tents and pitched them ready for the GCSE results-collectors to arrive on the Thursday.

1. Last year (aged 18) DS1 had all his valuables stolen from inside his tent on the first night while he was asleep (phone, cash, bank card, provisional licence which he was using for ID). He had the maturity to cope and decided to stay and try to enjoy the rest of the festival. His friends lent him cash and let him use their phones to cancel his card and update us. Some 16 year olds would take this in their stride, but others wouldn't.

These things can wait, IMO, too much too soon.

They may be good girls, but the people around them May not be such good boss and girls....

Yes, if she’s sensible I would let her. If she’s nearly 17 then in a year she’ll be an adult and you won’t be able to control much of what she does at all, might as well start giving her a bit more freedom now.

My DD went at the end of year 12, rather than post GCSEs. She had a fabulous time .... but it wasn't until recently I heard what really went on ..... no food, drinking all day (starting as soon as they woke up), drugs everywhere (although she said she didn't partake).

If she's sensible, she should be fine - but even the sensible ones can go a bit crazy at these things.

Ds (16, mid-GCSEs) has a group of friends who went last year and are going again this year. He has chosen not to go on the basis of their descriptors of last year.

My DS went after GCSEs, it was his belated 16th birthday party. I gave him 8 camping passes as a present and paid for one big meal. They had a fab time, but called me for a pick-up on the last night, as some twits were going around burning the leftover tents. DS and friends were worried about their safety.

They all got their results at the festival and decompressed from studying brilliantly.

Try and find out which field to camp in, they have very different vibes - DS went for one of the quieter ones. Other friends joined the group and I believe they were a group of 15 at the end 🙂.

If they are confident enough to request help if needed and there is a critical mass of friends it will be brilliant.

With regards to valuables- rules were:
All had very cheap pay phones, pre programmed with everyone’s number, including all parents.
Only carried enough money for that day - topped up from hole in wall.
No one to go off on own.
NO DRUGS

The above were set by the boys before they went - not imposed by parents.

Everyone gets drunk and takes drugs. If you can have a frank convo then yes. I always remind mine about sunburn!!

Just tell them not to do what dds friend did and get off their faces on ket and fall asleep in the baking sun, despite being a freckly redhead.

One of my SDSs is doing exactly that this year.
They are in a big group and we aren't worried.

DD1 went at 15 (August birthday) after GCSEs. I'm not sure what she got up to but she was with a group of friends and they survived.

Mine both went in Y11 after GCSES. DD was just 16 (also went end of Y12 aged 17)
Reading is quite a rite of passage here. Many of the teens do it all to excess.

DD loved it both times, but she and her girls definitely went to see the music and didn't want to be off their faces and miss anything. She was lucky becaise it fell a week after GCSE results so they went early on the Thursday and got a good pitch.

DS didn't enjoy it (in fact we picked him up early on the Sun night) - his boys (and the girls) were all partying hard and he realised it wasn't for him. His mates weren't very well planned and do they arrived late afternoon after results and had to camp miles away which I don't think helped.

We live in London and I do not in total honesty know a single child from across several schools who didn't go as a sixteen year old. It's very much a rite of passage thing. They tend to go as a whole army of their year group from school. Thrh all come home filthy, shattered and having had the most amazing experience too. In honesty whatever most people i know have experienced is their kids drink a lot and all try a bit of weed. I think the fact they're in a large group me and they seem likely to be relatively safe. I recommend renting a charger locker so they can charge and keep their mobile phone and you agree a time for them to make a call to you and also it keeps their money etc safe.
I think you have to trust her. It's a stream relief after all the exams and the whole fun and safety us in doing it as a group.

One year it was Pony Club Camp and the next it was LeedsFest.

She ended up in A&E after Pony Club.

My 15 year old DS would not be interested in going to a festival, as we have been dragging him to them for years. If he did want to go with a group of friends when he is 16 I would let him go.
I went with three other friends to Amsterdam for a week when I was 17. It was a great experience.

Glamgiraffe, you are very lucky to only know such calm 16 yr olds,who drink only a bit and do a small amount of weed

Where I live, by 14 lots of kids,do weed/spice, some very frequently and very much, and the "cool" 15 yr olds take mdma, and that's just on school days/weekends.

What they'd take at 16 at a festival I'd dread to think! Not just "a little bit of weed" for sure

She ended up in A&E after Pony Club

Our pony club camp last year was a shocker. Lots of teens banned this year

This is obviously ancient history now, but I went straight from picking up my GCSE results in 1998 and had the most brilliant time 😁 No mobile phones then either, I think I rang my mum once from a pay phone but that was it. Like Kennehora, I then went to either Reading or Leeds every year until my last year of uni, when I suddenly felt too old.

Realistically, they will drink too much and probably do some drugs. That's what teenagers do. Drum into them the importance of staying together, don't go off with random boys, make sure they have enough money to eat a decent meal (by that I mean noodles or a burger) once a day, and as per a pp, wear sunscreen. Oh and sleep with valuables on their person.

Apart from that, grit your teeth and send them on their way!

Drum into them the importance of getting help - ie going to the first aid tent - if they or anyone they know has a bad reaction to any drugs. Make sure they know you won't be cross with them and that you will be glad that they sought help.

Ass pp said, they all go after GCSEs' - my eldest dd went and dd2 is going this year. I think that the festival must be full of 16 year olds. I also live in London - it def is a rite of passage here. I don't ask what they get up to. None of my children are into drugs and dd2 doesn't even drink. I don't assume they spend the time sober there though.

Tickets will have gone on sale in March surely? I went to Leeds at 17 and 18 in 2005/06 and tickets sold out the day they went on sale those years.

Sorry just realised you are talking about next year 🤦‍♀️