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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Leave him where he is or those the chance and move?

5 replies

BettyBo33 · 06/06/2019 00:58

DS is coming to the end of year 10 (if he makes it without being suspended) it’s been two years of declining behaviour ranging from silly things like throwing glue sticks at friends to rude and defiant behaviour and not doing any work. He is nothing like this at home. Yes he has teenage hormonal moments but he responds well to structure and boundaries, always asking if he can go out, abiding by curfews etc In the beginning I thought it might be a phase, he was adamant h didn’t want to leave his school (academy) despite that he is now at the point where his reputation precedes him and he can do nothing right. He’s given up on learning and on himself. He says he simply hates school and it would be the same wherever he went. At first I took on board what he said but now I wonder if it’s too late to change. If he stays where he is he will get suspended, possibly expelled. He will continue to hang out with likeminded mates and probably get into more trouble. If I move him there may be a chance, or it may be no different. Schools I have spoke too are not keen on taking him in year 11 understandably. But he can’t get any less motivate me etc now. I don’t know what to do. Any words of wisdom or similar experiences?

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 06/06/2019 01:01

How’s his grades?

negomi90 · 06/06/2019 01:13

You can't move him mid gsce. Schools use different exam boards - finding a school which matches all his subjects will be impossible. They also teach things in different orders (for the subjects you find which match).
He will act out and do worse if he doesn't want to move. Plus the exam board issue will mean that he won't know the right things next year.
I have a very clever motivated friend who moved into the country for year 11. She had to start school in year 10, because of curriculum differences. She would have been motivated enough to study and catch up in the holiday if she could but it wasn't felt to be enough.
Sorry your going through bad times with your son, but moving him now won't help.

BettyBo33 · 06/06/2019 01:28

Grades aren’t good. He does minimal work. He’s intelligent and capable but he doesn’t want to be there. I know it’s the worst time to move but I don’t think he could do any worse than he is currently.. I’ve gone over and over the pros and cons but am no closer. After bad days like today I think he has to move, then I come back round to sticking it out as long as he’s allowed to be there. Also considered home Ed.

OP posts:
cdtaylornats · 06/06/2019 17:18

If he is failing and not working/interested it is hard to see how moving him mid-GCSE is going to matter a damn.

Pashazade · 06/06/2019 17:22

You could pull him, and Home Ed give him time and space to figure out what he really enjoys and then take GCSE's in those subjects. Or find a vocational college course. If you're able to do it, then it could be the answer. Have you tried discussing it with him?

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